http://www.fnchiropractic.com
http://www.bionicdoc.com
http://www.85224chiro.com
And you don't know what to do.
Out on a limb.
And He's waiting there for you.
Ha, old song which came to mind.
Another one which brought me to attention was at E3Scottsdale on Sunday.
Celebrate this heartbeat by Stonehill. Randy is the best. I don't know how pastor Brad got me to think about this song, but his preaching has really begun to take life. I'm so thrilled to wake up on Sunday just to get to church. Its a great day. Then, seeing the Cardinals going to the SB is outrageous. Can't wait to watch the next game.
I've been around the sports stuff for quite some time now. When I've treated these guys, there's something I watch for. The IR, how the guys are moving and the logistics surrounding intervals of training/rest. Coach with the Cards got something down. I saw the rest interval and our losses and we just may see a big fat W. That's W for WINNER. Pitt is extremely tough, though. Only thing is that I see the Steelers playing with broken ankles and a whole lot more hurt than what the Cards have. This next game will be interesting dependent upon who has the heart. That's all these guys are playing with now at this point in the season. AZ does have a more healed up team, though, to go along with the heart. I also believe that we have some tricks up our sleeves. In the Cardinal's first two to three games some things were tested. Coach brought a few things out of the bag as testing period and then we didn't see any more as the bag wasn't needed for us to get to playoffs. I saw that this was a real team and we'll see come SB Sunday. If I were to bet, I'm going Arizona. I even visited the training center to entertain my thoughts on the team and I realized that the Cardinals are no party-errrrs and that we are now all business. That's good news considering that I've witnessed other teams where the main guys are up the night before closing down the local shindig bar and expected to "perform" at a higher level the next day. Over ten years ago I witnessed this with Pitt and don't think the core team has changed. I expect that the Steelers will goof around way more than AZ during the next two weeks.
Okay, thats my thought(s) for the SuperBowl. My latest maneuver on stocks is most likely for GE in about one week. Pretty certain I will allocate funds to this location and put a sell staked at 24-25 at time of purchase. In about 4-6 months this will probably go through. It may go longer, but I think the big Obama deal will post winnings at GE. I'm also re-locating the Cuervo to healthier aspects like Marvel as the number one investor has gone dry for well over the past ten months.
P.S. Just another note. I've been out marketing for my office in the Chandler area. A lot of closed offices out there. Three of them are chiropractic offices and its kind of sad. I knew one of the offices and, you know, they really opened up to just close down. Overhead was so high that I didn't know how these people were going to make it. Turns out they didn't. I hope these things will turn for the better.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Lepper and Moller
http://www.fnchiropractic.com/
Well, its been a while. I've been very busy with whatnots and wheretos. Last thing was another pigroast and a whole lotta mushkatka. Really fun stuff and I love the many pigroasts. Great stuff.
I am currently doing quite a lot of stuff with sub-ing at different offices as well as building a great clientele in my own office. My latest patient has a huge roofing business and, if you want his #, its Desert Roofing and he is genuine. When you request his #, I will gladly send it out. Haven't posted for a bit as have been busy acquisitioning foreclosures and I will be moving into a place near to the office. Its pretty cool. Two story place with windows and fireplace and fairly large. I'm not sure, but a cleaning lady is probably in store for the thing. I've always wanted the fairly simple and this monster is a little off my beaten path. But it is worth much for little and thats good.
Lepper and Moller. I was briefly in an office when first moved to the valley. Lincoln Chiropractic owned by John Lepper. A joke I heard was, "Well, we have a Lepper and now there's a Moller." The place was good. It attracted patients like flies and was pretty okay. I really like Dr Lepper and he is very outstanding. When I left after close to two months I had a number of things which I took with me. There were many patients who tracked me down and they are still my patients today. I never "stole" them as I don't do this. They came to me. One said that they felt Dr Lepper was intimidated and thought I was better. I have a difficult time believing that, but anyway, these were reports. Dr Lepper, in my opinion, is tops.
When I started at Lincoln, I began to have people who would make appointments only when I was there and Doc was not. This was a little uncomfortable but I accepted it. One of these guys was actually named George Bernard Shaw just like the Nobel winner. He was white, though, not black. Shared the same name. I figure its okay for me to say the name since its the name of a well-known and many may actually have that name. So, George, I had to ask after seeing him the second time...."how did you land this name?" George is a highly accomplished, exceptionally wealthy, old man. Every visit he would come in and say this, "I suffer from something very very bad. The name of the impairment is......old age." George made his wealth off of land and development of commercial property. Very smart codger. Very much like another of Dr Lepper's guys named Rik. Very smart people.
So, anyway. George B Shaw. It wasn't his real name. In kindergarten his first day, George had to stand up and say his name. He stood up and said his name: Gaylord. The whole class snickered. This was probably in about or around the early 1920's. Even then, I guess, Gaylord was something for kids in kindergarten to snicker about. So the next day of kindergarten, the process was repeated and, you know what Gaylord did? Stand up, name: George. No snickering. George B Shaw never was Gaylord again. He never had a legal name change, but throughout life has signed document after document as George. Everything. The name to his buildings, houses, cars. Younameits. George.
He's a very funny guy. Came in with a walker due to a dystrophic disease and it was always a joy to see him come in. He usually called ahead to make sure I was there. The last Saturday that I ever treated him was almost prophetic. You see, what I did with him was special. I treat everyone with special care, but I made sure that he was exclusive. I could tell with George that something was made of gold and so I took careful attention to involve him with probably a good thirty minutes of talk. So, on our last visit, he told me that he was headed for Sun City. This is Arizona talk of the grand retirement community where old ladies take dogs for walks while riding in golf carts. So here's what George told me. He said that he can't wait for the day that he calls for his appointment and finds that I am no longer working out of Dr Lepper's offices. George said that I am better than the office I was in and he wanted to see me get out. It was something hearing this guy say these things. I'm still not sure if I understand it. You know what? That week I was gone. I really miss George. I really miss a lot of patients I've treated over the years. George never tracked me down the way some others did, but I'm willing to give my left leg if he didn't call at some point and find that I had moved on. I think he was very pleased that morning.
sm
Well, its been a while. I've been very busy with whatnots and wheretos. Last thing was another pigroast and a whole lotta mushkatka. Really fun stuff and I love the many pigroasts. Great stuff.
I am currently doing quite a lot of stuff with sub-ing at different offices as well as building a great clientele in my own office. My latest patient has a huge roofing business and, if you want his #, its Desert Roofing and he is genuine. When you request his #, I will gladly send it out. Haven't posted for a bit as have been busy acquisitioning foreclosures and I will be moving into a place near to the office. Its pretty cool. Two story place with windows and fireplace and fairly large. I'm not sure, but a cleaning lady is probably in store for the thing. I've always wanted the fairly simple and this monster is a little off my beaten path. But it is worth much for little and thats good.
Lepper and Moller. I was briefly in an office when first moved to the valley. Lincoln Chiropractic owned by John Lepper. A joke I heard was, "Well, we have a Lepper and now there's a Moller." The place was good. It attracted patients like flies and was pretty okay. I really like Dr Lepper and he is very outstanding. When I left after close to two months I had a number of things which I took with me. There were many patients who tracked me down and they are still my patients today. I never "stole" them as I don't do this. They came to me. One said that they felt Dr Lepper was intimidated and thought I was better. I have a difficult time believing that, but anyway, these were reports. Dr Lepper, in my opinion, is tops.
When I started at Lincoln, I began to have people who would make appointments only when I was there and Doc was not. This was a little uncomfortable but I accepted it. One of these guys was actually named George Bernard Shaw just like the Nobel winner. He was white, though, not black. Shared the same name. I figure its okay for me to say the name since its the name of a well-known and many may actually have that name. So, George, I had to ask after seeing him the second time...."how did you land this name?" George is a highly accomplished, exceptionally wealthy, old man. Every visit he would come in and say this, "I suffer from something very very bad. The name of the impairment is......old age." George made his wealth off of land and development of commercial property. Very smart codger. Very much like another of Dr Lepper's guys named Rik. Very smart people.
So, anyway. George B Shaw. It wasn't his real name. In kindergarten his first day, George had to stand up and say his name. He stood up and said his name: Gaylord. The whole class snickered. This was probably in about or around the early 1920's. Even then, I guess, Gaylord was something for kids in kindergarten to snicker about. So the next day of kindergarten, the process was repeated and, you know what Gaylord did? Stand up, name: George. No snickering. George B Shaw never was Gaylord again. He never had a legal name change, but throughout life has signed document after document as George. Everything. The name to his buildings, houses, cars. Younameits. George.
He's a very funny guy. Came in with a walker due to a dystrophic disease and it was always a joy to see him come in. He usually called ahead to make sure I was there. The last Saturday that I ever treated him was almost prophetic. You see, what I did with him was special. I treat everyone with special care, but I made sure that he was exclusive. I could tell with George that something was made of gold and so I took careful attention to involve him with probably a good thirty minutes of talk. So, on our last visit, he told me that he was headed for Sun City. This is Arizona talk of the grand retirement community where old ladies take dogs for walks while riding in golf carts. So here's what George told me. He said that he can't wait for the day that he calls for his appointment and finds that I am no longer working out of Dr Lepper's offices. George said that I am better than the office I was in and he wanted to see me get out. It was something hearing this guy say these things. I'm still not sure if I understand it. You know what? That week I was gone. I really miss George. I really miss a lot of patients I've treated over the years. George never tracked me down the way some others did, but I'm willing to give my left leg if he didn't call at some point and find that I had moved on. I think he was very pleased that morning.
sm
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Razors, toothbrush, toothpaste and deodorant
http://www.fnchiropractic.com/
Hi.
Today, I decided to be Superman. No kidding. Five new patients scheduled did not motivate me enough to get going out of the sleep phase. I had to do something fun so I put that little curl on my forehead and wore a form-fitting shirt to show my proportions. It was the curl which transformed me. I even pasted it with hairspray so it would glisten. No kidding, I was then Superman. So I "flew" off in my Saab built by jet engineers. Only problem was I couldn't fly too fast because of all the stinking cameras now all over the freeways. I got to fly at 55.
Razors, toothbrush, toothpaste and deodorant. I haven't bought any of that for well over one to two years now. Its because I stocked up. I actually have bought some toothpaste, but it hasn't cost much of anything. I buy it at the dollar store.
Deodorant, I found a good Adidas brand made by a major company. It was on sale for a third of the regular price and discontinued by Walgreens and I bought about fifteen of them at the time in three different scents. I bought so many since it was a great buy and good brand and I know I will use it and it doesn't go bad. All just deodorant and no anti-perspirant. I used to have sweaty pits until I figured something out. My pits were chemically reacting to anti-perspirant additives like aluminum and zinc. In 1997, I went to straight deodorant, and, voila, no more sweaty pits and ring around the shoulder. I rotate the three scented deodorants I have and they dominate the bottom of the medicine cabinet.
My toothbrush I purchased about two years ago is an Oral-B sonic brush and it gives me a great clean. Only problem was the extreme cost of brush refills. About the same cost of the wand for two replacement brushes. I couldn't believe that one. I went to ebay and purchased about twenty of the refills for about ten bucks and still have two years to go before another buy. Not too bad. Ebay - my hero.
My toothpaste. I don't like any one paste on the market and most tubes are in the three dollar range. A little over a year ago I got to thinking about this while lazing in the pool. I decided to do my own formula for what I wanted. I got a small container out of the kitchen which is never used. I'm not even sure why Rubbermaid puts those really little tubs in their boxes of 18 sized tubs and lids. I think its for those inclined to mix up their own toothpaste. After that, I went to the dollar store and bought a variety of name brand larger sized pastes and a few boxes of baking soda. I squeezed out one third of the tubes of three different pastes and added a quarter box of baking soda into my Rubbermaid toothpaste holder. Mixed everything up with a Q-Tip and finally enjoyed a great toothpaste. My latest mix turned out purple as I used a red cinnamon tube by Pepsodent. Turned everything purple and now I have a dinosaur paste any kid would love.
Razors. Thats a perplexing one. I remember a discussion I once had with my brother over how quickly the things dull and sometimes get scratchy. I think at the time the consensus was that the metal deteriorates due to banging it against the sink. I think we were wrong. Then I remember reading in the book, Coyotes, how many Mexicans will go over six months with the same razor. I didn't know how a good shave could ever be gotten that way.
My favorite three are the Mach 3 and Quattro and Lady Quattro. You know how much the refills cost? Something like ten to thirteen dollars for four depending on which blades. I used to go through a blade maybe once a week, give or take a few days. Expensive.
So I started looking. I bought four of those Infinity razors. Lame lame lame. Worst blade yet. Before getting them in the mail, I was all excited and I grew a five day beard so I could test the best blade ever. Well, at least the free meat cleaver is comparable to my Henckels.
The different razors got me thinking, though. I finally got a close look at the blades after a few shaves and noticed the clutter inside. It wasn't broken metal and, also, possibly not even dulled. A bunch of hair in there - stuck inside and between. The water pressure out of the sink was not doing the job and violently shaking and tapping in a basin didn't do it. I attempted to rinse the blades out with the kitchen shooter and it does not direct forceful enough flow to clean much.
I went extreme. Purchased a directional flow flexible shower extension. Cleans the blades flawlessly. On ebay I purchased multiples of my favorite blades a while ago and I don't foresee having to ever buy the things again for a long, long, long time.
Hi.
Today, I decided to be Superman. No kidding. Five new patients scheduled did not motivate me enough to get going out of the sleep phase. I had to do something fun so I put that little curl on my forehead and wore a form-fitting shirt to show my proportions. It was the curl which transformed me. I even pasted it with hairspray so it would glisten. No kidding, I was then Superman. So I "flew" off in my Saab built by jet engineers. Only problem was I couldn't fly too fast because of all the stinking cameras now all over the freeways. I got to fly at 55.
Razors, toothbrush, toothpaste and deodorant. I haven't bought any of that for well over one to two years now. Its because I stocked up. I actually have bought some toothpaste, but it hasn't cost much of anything. I buy it at the dollar store.
Deodorant, I found a good Adidas brand made by a major company. It was on sale for a third of the regular price and discontinued by Walgreens and I bought about fifteen of them at the time in three different scents. I bought so many since it was a great buy and good brand and I know I will use it and it doesn't go bad. All just deodorant and no anti-perspirant. I used to have sweaty pits until I figured something out. My pits were chemically reacting to anti-perspirant additives like aluminum and zinc. In 1997, I went to straight deodorant, and, voila, no more sweaty pits and ring around the shoulder. I rotate the three scented deodorants I have and they dominate the bottom of the medicine cabinet.
My toothbrush I purchased about two years ago is an Oral-B sonic brush and it gives me a great clean. Only problem was the extreme cost of brush refills. About the same cost of the wand for two replacement brushes. I couldn't believe that one. I went to ebay and purchased about twenty of the refills for about ten bucks and still have two years to go before another buy. Not too bad. Ebay - my hero.
My toothpaste. I don't like any one paste on the market and most tubes are in the three dollar range. A little over a year ago I got to thinking about this while lazing in the pool. I decided to do my own formula for what I wanted. I got a small container out of the kitchen which is never used. I'm not even sure why Rubbermaid puts those really little tubs in their boxes of 18 sized tubs and lids. I think its for those inclined to mix up their own toothpaste. After that, I went to the dollar store and bought a variety of name brand larger sized pastes and a few boxes of baking soda. I squeezed out one third of the tubes of three different pastes and added a quarter box of baking soda into my Rubbermaid toothpaste holder. Mixed everything up with a Q-Tip and finally enjoyed a great toothpaste. My latest mix turned out purple as I used a red cinnamon tube by Pepsodent. Turned everything purple and now I have a dinosaur paste any kid would love.
Razors. Thats a perplexing one. I remember a discussion I once had with my brother over how quickly the things dull and sometimes get scratchy. I think at the time the consensus was that the metal deteriorates due to banging it against the sink. I think we were wrong. Then I remember reading in the book, Coyotes, how many Mexicans will go over six months with the same razor. I didn't know how a good shave could ever be gotten that way.
My favorite three are the Mach 3 and Quattro and Lady Quattro. You know how much the refills cost? Something like ten to thirteen dollars for four depending on which blades. I used to go through a blade maybe once a week, give or take a few days. Expensive.
So I started looking. I bought four of those Infinity razors. Lame lame lame. Worst blade yet. Before getting them in the mail, I was all excited and I grew a five day beard so I could test the best blade ever. Well, at least the free meat cleaver is comparable to my Henckels.
The different razors got me thinking, though. I finally got a close look at the blades after a few shaves and noticed the clutter inside. It wasn't broken metal and, also, possibly not even dulled. A bunch of hair in there - stuck inside and between. The water pressure out of the sink was not doing the job and violently shaking and tapping in a basin didn't do it. I attempted to rinse the blades out with the kitchen shooter and it does not direct forceful enough flow to clean much.
I went extreme. Purchased a directional flow flexible shower extension. Cleans the blades flawlessly. On ebay I purchased multiples of my favorite blades a while ago and I don't foresee having to ever buy the things again for a long, long, long time.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
My first office and ebay mostly
www.fnchiropractic.com
I've been forced by unseen evidence to remember good circumstance in order to avail myself to fight bad circumstance. I have a good list which overpowers a bad list. In this little excerpt I identify the good in my practices.
I started my initial practice in Tulsa with no fortitude. It was luck, graciousness, ebay and reality which fueled what it is I do.
My first office was on Garnett Road. I was gifted by Dr. Smith with equipment. Adjusting tables, intersegmental traction tables, e-stims. That was a start. I already owned therapy tables which I purchased in KC from a deceased chiropractor. I was set for a bit. Had a computer and purchased software on a budget where EZ-Bis took in payments over ten months for a thousand or so. I purchased an ultrasound unit for $1200 from a local company which later went out of business. I moved to an office and had to change. Dr. Kats gifted me with a desk, office chairs and furniture and his time. A dentist friend gifted me with office chairs and file cabinets.
My introduction to ebay was in purchasing an x-ray machine and processor. Went to New York on Long Island to pick up x-ray. Went to Long Island over a weekend with a girl who never seemed to sleep. Got a guy to set up the unit on the side of his brother's business and my total was $1400 for a $10000 project. The x-ray was paid for by my travel and time and I made it up in about two to three days. My first processor, I had to pick up outside San Antonio and the total for that rivaled half the cost of my actual x-ray machine. On ebay I ended up buying another processor from Branson which I picked up and that was about two years after my initial processor. The automatic processor is very important and probably the biggest headache in x-rays. That can get expensive. That second AFP was a total of $400 plus my gas and time to drive to Branson. The first processor was gas, time and about $700. The actual cost was so much because I got auction anxiety and I refused to let someone outbid me. It wasn't a good buy.
Another all-time ebay purchase for me was for therapy equipment. This company in Fort Scott, KS expanded their facility and I banked. They are a non-profit organization and put a bunch of stuff up on ebay. I won on three bids and requested to pick up personally. The items I won were for about $450 and they were two stim units and one combo which were worth new about $15000. When I went to Fort Scott to pick the stuff up, I was in the middle of a fire sale. Everything had to go. I looked at the size of my Chrysler LHS and all the stuff and systemacally loaded up. Couldn't see out the rearview mirror and only spent an additional $150 on things like extra ortho products, med desks, pictures, therapy desks and stim units. That was totally cool. Total bank. My office was transformed.
Ebay got me therapeutic pictures, clinical diagnostic tables and therapy tables at a fraction of the cost. X-ray film? Ebay. Hundreds of films for pennies. I even bought tons of cassettes and then re-sold them. Top quality Kodak, Fuji and AGFA. I brought hundreds of thousands in hard-costs down to less than tens of thousands. I have been so blessed by all of this.
Anyone can do it. The only problem is that it does take time and patience which most do not possess. I even had a candy machine in the office which came from ebay and one of those neon "open" signs. Ebay is crazy and it has made me a living.
I had an assistant in the first office and, when she was irritated with how I handled business at one point, I took her through my process: I pointed out to her everything and where it came from. It was enlightening to me. Our whole argument began out of her disliking my paying for Billy's trip with us to KC for a seminar. I told her that the least I could do for Billy was give him a trip out of town since he has referred well over twenty of the people we see. He contributed probably over twenty thousand dollars to my practice because he is my friend and I saved him from surgery and he knows chiropractic. I really miss Billy. So I showed my assistant how much of the practice was not her and it definitely was not me. It started with the blessings from Dr. Smith, Dr. Kats, the dentist and ebay. None of it was me. I didn't do it. I did pay for some things, but in the end, it was just earning and learning. No big deal and just how it is. I put in sweat and tears but that didn't make what we did. It is just how it is.
I don't think K ever got the picture, but I sure did. And Billy got an enjoyable trip out of town and the best steak dinner ever at Hereford House in KC.
Today I am blessed with a great situation and I only see it as being great and greater. Its just a matter of time when people find that I do more with less, and, much of the time - its not even me doing it - its just being and living and knowing that I know that I know that I know. So simple that it can be complex. This life is sometimes crazy.
I've been forced by unseen evidence to remember good circumstance in order to avail myself to fight bad circumstance. I have a good list which overpowers a bad list. In this little excerpt I identify the good in my practices.
I started my initial practice in Tulsa with no fortitude. It was luck, graciousness, ebay and reality which fueled what it is I do.
My first office was on Garnett Road. I was gifted by Dr. Smith with equipment. Adjusting tables, intersegmental traction tables, e-stims. That was a start. I already owned therapy tables which I purchased in KC from a deceased chiropractor. I was set for a bit. Had a computer and purchased software on a budget where EZ-Bis took in payments over ten months for a thousand or so. I purchased an ultrasound unit for $1200 from a local company which later went out of business. I moved to an office and had to change. Dr. Kats gifted me with a desk, office chairs and furniture and his time. A dentist friend gifted me with office chairs and file cabinets.
My introduction to ebay was in purchasing an x-ray machine and processor. Went to New York on Long Island to pick up x-ray. Went to Long Island over a weekend with a girl who never seemed to sleep. Got a guy to set up the unit on the side of his brother's business and my total was $1400 for a $10000 project. The x-ray was paid for by my travel and time and I made it up in about two to three days. My first processor, I had to pick up outside San Antonio and the total for that rivaled half the cost of my actual x-ray machine. On ebay I ended up buying another processor from Branson which I picked up and that was about two years after my initial processor. The automatic processor is very important and probably the biggest headache in x-rays. That can get expensive. That second AFP was a total of $400 plus my gas and time to drive to Branson. The first processor was gas, time and about $700. The actual cost was so much because I got auction anxiety and I refused to let someone outbid me. It wasn't a good buy.
Another all-time ebay purchase for me was for therapy equipment. This company in Fort Scott, KS expanded their facility and I banked. They are a non-profit organization and put a bunch of stuff up on ebay. I won on three bids and requested to pick up personally. The items I won were for about $450 and they were two stim units and one combo which were worth new about $15000. When I went to Fort Scott to pick the stuff up, I was in the middle of a fire sale. Everything had to go. I looked at the size of my Chrysler LHS and all the stuff and systemacally loaded up. Couldn't see out the rearview mirror and only spent an additional $150 on things like extra ortho products, med desks, pictures, therapy desks and stim units. That was totally cool. Total bank. My office was transformed.
Ebay got me therapeutic pictures, clinical diagnostic tables and therapy tables at a fraction of the cost. X-ray film? Ebay. Hundreds of films for pennies. I even bought tons of cassettes and then re-sold them. Top quality Kodak, Fuji and AGFA. I brought hundreds of thousands in hard-costs down to less than tens of thousands. I have been so blessed by all of this.
Anyone can do it. The only problem is that it does take time and patience which most do not possess. I even had a candy machine in the office which came from ebay and one of those neon "open" signs. Ebay is crazy and it has made me a living.
I had an assistant in the first office and, when she was irritated with how I handled business at one point, I took her through my process: I pointed out to her everything and where it came from. It was enlightening to me. Our whole argument began out of her disliking my paying for Billy's trip with us to KC for a seminar. I told her that the least I could do for Billy was give him a trip out of town since he has referred well over twenty of the people we see. He contributed probably over twenty thousand dollars to my practice because he is my friend and I saved him from surgery and he knows chiropractic. I really miss Billy. So I showed my assistant how much of the practice was not her and it definitely was not me. It started with the blessings from Dr. Smith, Dr. Kats, the dentist and ebay. None of it was me. I didn't do it. I did pay for some things, but in the end, it was just earning and learning. No big deal and just how it is. I put in sweat and tears but that didn't make what we did. It is just how it is.
I don't think K ever got the picture, but I sure did. And Billy got an enjoyable trip out of town and the best steak dinner ever at Hereford House in KC.
Today I am blessed with a great situation and I only see it as being great and greater. Its just a matter of time when people find that I do more with less, and, much of the time - its not even me doing it - its just being and living and knowing that I know that I know that I know. So simple that it can be complex. This life is sometimes crazy.
Ranked #2 in Section 3, 1 out of 4 Scenarios Divorce
www.fnchiropractic.com
www.bionicdoc.com
www.85224chiro.com
Hi. Its been a while.
Today in church there was this totally hot female and I caught her checking me out. I wanted to go up to her and say, "Hi, I am, state your name, and I would love to find out more about you". She was standing without obstructions and available and flashing her empty ring finger. Hot hot hot. A few years ago, this would have been great. I have Elsie now and she is the best. So the intro did not happen. In my history, it would probably have been crash and burn in less than four days and another female anyway. I have a loooooong history of that and you can take my word for it. The only strange integer in there would be if the hottie had fed me which extends any possible relationship.
Last night I was at Chris's place and watching the UFC Couture fight which was very disappointing. I probably have spelling errors all over the place here. But, anyway, right before the fight I got a call from my ex-wife. I was hoping it was my son, Josiah, calling to finally touch base. Ha! Well, go figure, it wasn't. Just the ex. She asked if I had a moment and I said no, about fifteen minutes I could call back. She didn't regard that statement and decided to proclaim any number of cussings that I don't know if any sailor even knows. On her second call of about six, I stated that I would not listen to such things and that, if she calls to get my son on the phone and she attempted multiple call backs just to berate me with different names. Would be much easier if she would just simply get my own son on the phone, but she does not. It was a bit comical although not so much so. I don't accept that kind of junk as a man and, if you don'[t accept a gift, it goes back to the sender. Hate to see how her gift has gotten back to her. Too bad she is the recipient of all the ramblings she was saying. I kind of felt like holding the phone up to my neighbor's ear who happens to be my great friend and pastor of my church who I have known for a good eight years or so. Wes has been around me during some strange parts of my life. And he also knows my son, Josiah.
In my years of chiropractic practice I have found that about 80% of what I do is learning about people and their lives and the other 20% is actually the healing part. The 80% of a divorced situation with kids is different. In divorce with kids, you find one of four or so different things. The rarity is the dad who has the kid and, most of the time, you find a dad who is very good about the mom involving herself with the kids life/lives. With the moms, you find a number who are okay with visitation which lies at about 50% of them. The other ways go about 25%/25%. These are the ones who either 1) Wish their dads had something to do with their kids or 2) Want nothing to do with a dad and wish the dad would go to hell and they do anything to get in the way of any possible relationship.
My own situation most closely resembles the #2 of the 25%. I have been adequately prepared for this situation, but, at times, I do wonder since I go through poor coping skills. Doesn't make much sense to me excepting on my own analysis of the DSM text and experience through experiences. Guess you could call it a practice and research orientation.
So, anyway, got the call last night right before the main event and a really always angry ex. Really funny how she is always so angry since I still have no gray and she probably has bunches of it as well as crow's feet. Anger does a lot and it also showed on her mom who probably gave the inheritance (inheritance of angry/controlling lack of accountability behavior). It is a bit perplexing because the ex has done everything in her power to deter me from having anything to do with my son's life and I have just let it be because it is so damaging. Damaging to me (selfishly) as well as my son potentially. It killed me to have to go through it and also fight it so I decided to set it aside. So, since I have let the situation aside, now the ex is vehement about my lack of involvement and that my son is wrenched over the lack of relationship with his dad. Well, there is a saying, "Damned if you do, damned if you don't".
I'm really glad that my friend, Pastor Wes, was there during the call. He's been asking me about seeing Josiah. So has Tonya, his wife. The last time I saw JP was the Monday after Thanksgiving in '05. She showed up at my office in Tulsa after being there for a week and my not knowing it. She showed with my son in my office when I was busy with patients and work and gave me no opportunity during the entire time of their stay to schedule anything since, of course, she did not notify of their arrival. It was a gratuitous fifteen minute "hello" to satisfy her conscience to say that she did her job. JOKE joke joke. So Wes got to hear from the call what kind of animal female I am dealing with before we got to see the potential UFC fight of the year. At least I don't think he could have missed the rants coming out of my ear piece one foot away from his ear.
Wes asks about Josiah about every other time we visit because, for some reason, he noticed my son. He also asks, I think, because he is ready to have some kids of his own. Wes was also near to me when I was breaking my back to stay in business and also stay in contact with my boy.
There was a time when I had JP and Wes did not know it. I brought my son to Sunday school. A day later, Wes visited my office and told me that he didn't know I had JP. I didn't know that Wes even knew what JP looked like. I guess my kid sat in the front row and totally involved himself with the stuff on Sunday and Wes was leading it. I thought that was cool. My own son was doing it like I intend to if something is important - staying front and center. Cool. Josiah is in the game.
There are two sides to the story. I've done my very stupid mistakes and the ex is particular to her dumb mistakes. Who cares? Who wants to throw the first rock? You know what I'm saying? I know that I have thrown a few rocks and have found that they come back and give me a black eye. I hope that, now, I am the one who holds onto the rock and packs it in a secure suitcase. Well, I know I am that one. I also know that I have on what is termed the armor of God. I put it on everyday because I know that, on any given Sunday......I get a call from a b#$@*. Just kind of kidding there. It is the art of war. We are given the tools and they are fit for our warfare. We are told that is so and it remains true. I was recently prepared for last night's little calls by three dreams in the previous two nights involving the angry ex and her proclivities and my parents, as well, with their lack of responsiveness to being on my team. The dreams were extremely vivid and I knew that something was either going to attack or I was just having healing of memories.
There is still a lot more. My parents are involved. You ever have people on your team and they turn on you? A friend you give confidential information to and they send it on to your enemy? That would be my parents. For some reason, they give out the confidential. If you ever want someone to spread what is of FYI, I'll give you their #'s. I still have not figured out if they want to think that any information is everyone's information or if it is simply a living through everyone else's living. I think it is a combination of the two combined with a Munchauser syndrome which is an indepth look which is for another spot on the weblog.
So. The parents and the ex. What was it, the first Batman movie, "Who do you trust, who do you trust", stated by Nicholson as the Joker. For some strange reason my parents thought themselves as counselors and adequate third party to my marriage. Due to my heavy schedule in school and work and everything, I would have to schedule a later "appointment" to deal with any conflict she would come up with. It was just how it was - You have a beef, I would schedule it for later because I had twenty exams coming at me at the same time. This was a legitimate appointment and I knew what could be handled at any given time. What would happen was the ex had/has no patience (like previous phone call mentioned where I stated fifteen minutes and she couldn't wait until fight over) and she would get my parents (usually mom) on the horn and talk about her stuff. Well, the jack was talked over and then my appointment was never kept. So we never dealt with our stuff - all the steam was let out before I could get around to it. I had to tell my parents to stay out and not receive the calls. They never stopped. We divorced.
During the ex stages, the same thing. I had to tell them to stay out. Same thing. They never stayed out. Pisses me off. Probably at the half of my divorce, the parents were on suspension from my team.
When the parents helped the ex move away from me in Tulsa with my son was when they were ejected from my team after already being placed on the bench. It took a slow communication ejection for me. I found it difficult to understand how someone on my team could do such a thing. I would never do that to my own and even if it were to my detriment, I would take anything to the grave.
Here are the things they didn't see. I moved from family and friends to somewhere I didn't like and spent thousands on starting business and spent 24/7 fighting to just be near my kid. A ton of energy, emotion, time, money. I made it - of course. Had nowhere to go but up, you know. But then, my team (parents), helped my son to move away after everything I established. What the hell? My own team? You know what they said? Just quit your practice and move to CO. BS. I just spent thousands, all this energy, time always on and you think I can just throw it and just move to follow the louse of an ex-spouse? What kind of BS is that? So for years I attempted travel back and forth constantly and it depleted the life out of me and stole a part of my sanity. It also has now turned me into a Braveheart kind of guy. I know I am provided for and that Jehovah Nissi is sitting next to me in the convertible and I know who is now on my team -- a bunch of free agents who earn their positions.
Its funny because the parents would continue to get information and then disperse it to the ex as if its all open info and never FYI. So there goes my ex-communicado. Its too bad for me, too bad for them, but loose lips sink tight ships. Still anyway, it drove me kind of crazy for a day.
Like, it is still difficult for me to figure out how someone as close as family could help turn a rudder in such a direction. I just deal with it now and recognize that, sometimes, you have to trade in for a free agent.
So, in the #2 department of divorce where the lady wants nothing to do with the dad. Everything given to the female is ammunition, no matter what circumstance. With my parents, they supplied the #2 and have given it jet fuel with a large amount of information, communication, you-name-its. I had one lady who wished the dad would take the kids, even if just for a weekend so she could get a break. My parents supply that one by baby-sitting and taking my kid in three or more times a week. No more need for time off, I guess. Last I knew, my mom was taking Josiah to the movies with a buddy and probably picking up the tab (nice perk for the single mom, eh? - time off and a monetary discount). Even if you are glorified grandparents, stay out. You are no help retaining strings which should be detached no matter how much you love your grandkid. The strings detach at the time of a marriage. Stay on the team and stay in the game by staying out.
There are exceptions. Elsie Jane is an exception. She is in the 50% with her son and the dad has very good and free visitation rules. Quite obviously this has not driven him to any extremes and Brandon is a great, healthy kid. Elsie then has also afforded an also healthy relationship with her ex-in-laws. She has earned that in a possible adverse situation. Others have not earned it and someone ends up paying when nothing is earned. Thats a rule in our universe - earn and learn and reap the return.
Thats it on that one. There is a lot more and there is detail. Detail against my favor as well as for my favor. There are always two sides to the story. I just wanted to write this when a close friend in my church said today that she didn't know I had any kids. She just didn't know because she never sees me with anyone. That just kind of got to me.
This past week, my friend, Aimee, called and told me she is looking for a job. She is a medical examiner in the PHX coroner. She didn't pass some necessary boards and I didn't know what to say. Aimee is a very very cool chick. Great MD.
I told her to know that everything always works out, even if she doesn't think so at the time. I also told her that she is good as she is and not as she should be. And that she has been made for a purpose and that no one can ever take her righteousness away from her. That, when you think you are about to quit, the light is probably closer than you think.
It probably sounded goofy to her, but those are things that I know.
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Hi. Its been a while.
Today in church there was this totally hot female and I caught her checking me out. I wanted to go up to her and say, "Hi, I am, state your name, and I would love to find out more about you". She was standing without obstructions and available and flashing her empty ring finger. Hot hot hot. A few years ago, this would have been great. I have Elsie now and she is the best. So the intro did not happen. In my history, it would probably have been crash and burn in less than four days and another female anyway. I have a loooooong history of that and you can take my word for it. The only strange integer in there would be if the hottie had fed me which extends any possible relationship.
Last night I was at Chris's place and watching the UFC Couture fight which was very disappointing. I probably have spelling errors all over the place here. But, anyway, right before the fight I got a call from my ex-wife. I was hoping it was my son, Josiah, calling to finally touch base. Ha! Well, go figure, it wasn't. Just the ex. She asked if I had a moment and I said no, about fifteen minutes I could call back. She didn't regard that statement and decided to proclaim any number of cussings that I don't know if any sailor even knows. On her second call of about six, I stated that I would not listen to such things and that, if she calls to get my son on the phone and she attempted multiple call backs just to berate me with different names. Would be much easier if she would just simply get my own son on the phone, but she does not. It was a bit comical although not so much so. I don't accept that kind of junk as a man and, if you don'[t accept a gift, it goes back to the sender. Hate to see how her gift has gotten back to her. Too bad she is the recipient of all the ramblings she was saying. I kind of felt like holding the phone up to my neighbor's ear who happens to be my great friend and pastor of my church who I have known for a good eight years or so. Wes has been around me during some strange parts of my life. And he also knows my son, Josiah.
In my years of chiropractic practice I have found that about 80% of what I do is learning about people and their lives and the other 20% is actually the healing part. The 80% of a divorced situation with kids is different. In divorce with kids, you find one of four or so different things. The rarity is the dad who has the kid and, most of the time, you find a dad who is very good about the mom involving herself with the kids life/lives. With the moms, you find a number who are okay with visitation which lies at about 50% of them. The other ways go about 25%/25%. These are the ones who either 1) Wish their dads had something to do with their kids or 2) Want nothing to do with a dad and wish the dad would go to hell and they do anything to get in the way of any possible relationship.
My own situation most closely resembles the #2 of the 25%. I have been adequately prepared for this situation, but, at times, I do wonder since I go through poor coping skills. Doesn't make much sense to me excepting on my own analysis of the DSM text and experience through experiences. Guess you could call it a practice and research orientation.
So, anyway, got the call last night right before the main event and a really always angry ex. Really funny how she is always so angry since I still have no gray and she probably has bunches of it as well as crow's feet. Anger does a lot and it also showed on her mom who probably gave the inheritance (inheritance of angry/controlling lack of accountability behavior). It is a bit perplexing because the ex has done everything in her power to deter me from having anything to do with my son's life and I have just let it be because it is so damaging. Damaging to me (selfishly) as well as my son potentially. It killed me to have to go through it and also fight it so I decided to set it aside. So, since I have let the situation aside, now the ex is vehement about my lack of involvement and that my son is wrenched over the lack of relationship with his dad. Well, there is a saying, "Damned if you do, damned if you don't".
I'm really glad that my friend, Pastor Wes, was there during the call. He's been asking me about seeing Josiah. So has Tonya, his wife. The last time I saw JP was the Monday after Thanksgiving in '05. She showed up at my office in Tulsa after being there for a week and my not knowing it. She showed with my son in my office when I was busy with patients and work and gave me no opportunity during the entire time of their stay to schedule anything since, of course, she did not notify of their arrival. It was a gratuitous fifteen minute "hello" to satisfy her conscience to say that she did her job. JOKE joke joke. So Wes got to hear from the call what kind of animal female I am dealing with before we got to see the potential UFC fight of the year. At least I don't think he could have missed the rants coming out of my ear piece one foot away from his ear.
Wes asks about Josiah about every other time we visit because, for some reason, he noticed my son. He also asks, I think, because he is ready to have some kids of his own. Wes was also near to me when I was breaking my back to stay in business and also stay in contact with my boy.
There was a time when I had JP and Wes did not know it. I brought my son to Sunday school. A day later, Wes visited my office and told me that he didn't know I had JP. I didn't know that Wes even knew what JP looked like. I guess my kid sat in the front row and totally involved himself with the stuff on Sunday and Wes was leading it. I thought that was cool. My own son was doing it like I intend to if something is important - staying front and center. Cool. Josiah is in the game.
There are two sides to the story. I've done my very stupid mistakes and the ex is particular to her dumb mistakes. Who cares? Who wants to throw the first rock? You know what I'm saying? I know that I have thrown a few rocks and have found that they come back and give me a black eye. I hope that, now, I am the one who holds onto the rock and packs it in a secure suitcase. Well, I know I am that one. I also know that I have on what is termed the armor of God. I put it on everyday because I know that, on any given Sunday......I get a call from a b#$@*. Just kind of kidding there. It is the art of war. We are given the tools and they are fit for our warfare. We are told that is so and it remains true. I was recently prepared for last night's little calls by three dreams in the previous two nights involving the angry ex and her proclivities and my parents, as well, with their lack of responsiveness to being on my team. The dreams were extremely vivid and I knew that something was either going to attack or I was just having healing of memories.
There is still a lot more. My parents are involved. You ever have people on your team and they turn on you? A friend you give confidential information to and they send it on to your enemy? That would be my parents. For some reason, they give out the confidential. If you ever want someone to spread what is of FYI, I'll give you their #'s. I still have not figured out if they want to think that any information is everyone's information or if it is simply a living through everyone else's living. I think it is a combination of the two combined with a Munchauser syndrome which is an indepth look which is for another spot on the weblog.
So. The parents and the ex. What was it, the first Batman movie, "Who do you trust, who do you trust", stated by Nicholson as the Joker. For some strange reason my parents thought themselves as counselors and adequate third party to my marriage. Due to my heavy schedule in school and work and everything, I would have to schedule a later "appointment" to deal with any conflict she would come up with. It was just how it was - You have a beef, I would schedule it for later because I had twenty exams coming at me at the same time. This was a legitimate appointment and I knew what could be handled at any given time. What would happen was the ex had/has no patience (like previous phone call mentioned where I stated fifteen minutes and she couldn't wait until fight over) and she would get my parents (usually mom) on the horn and talk about her stuff. Well, the jack was talked over and then my appointment was never kept. So we never dealt with our stuff - all the steam was let out before I could get around to it. I had to tell my parents to stay out and not receive the calls. They never stopped. We divorced.
During the ex stages, the same thing. I had to tell them to stay out. Same thing. They never stayed out. Pisses me off. Probably at the half of my divorce, the parents were on suspension from my team.
When the parents helped the ex move away from me in Tulsa with my son was when they were ejected from my team after already being placed on the bench. It took a slow communication ejection for me. I found it difficult to understand how someone on my team could do such a thing. I would never do that to my own and even if it were to my detriment, I would take anything to the grave.
Here are the things they didn't see. I moved from family and friends to somewhere I didn't like and spent thousands on starting business and spent 24/7 fighting to just be near my kid. A ton of energy, emotion, time, money. I made it - of course. Had nowhere to go but up, you know. But then, my team (parents), helped my son to move away after everything I established. What the hell? My own team? You know what they said? Just quit your practice and move to CO. BS. I just spent thousands, all this energy, time always on and you think I can just throw it and just move to follow the louse of an ex-spouse? What kind of BS is that? So for years I attempted travel back and forth constantly and it depleted the life out of me and stole a part of my sanity. It also has now turned me into a Braveheart kind of guy. I know I am provided for and that Jehovah Nissi is sitting next to me in the convertible and I know who is now on my team -- a bunch of free agents who earn their positions.
Its funny because the parents would continue to get information and then disperse it to the ex as if its all open info and never FYI. So there goes my ex-communicado. Its too bad for me, too bad for them, but loose lips sink tight ships. Still anyway, it drove me kind of crazy for a day.
Like, it is still difficult for me to figure out how someone as close as family could help turn a rudder in such a direction. I just deal with it now and recognize that, sometimes, you have to trade in for a free agent.
So, in the #2 department of divorce where the lady wants nothing to do with the dad. Everything given to the female is ammunition, no matter what circumstance. With my parents, they supplied the #2 and have given it jet fuel with a large amount of information, communication, you-name-its. I had one lady who wished the dad would take the kids, even if just for a weekend so she could get a break. My parents supply that one by baby-sitting and taking my kid in three or more times a week. No more need for time off, I guess. Last I knew, my mom was taking Josiah to the movies with a buddy and probably picking up the tab (nice perk for the single mom, eh? - time off and a monetary discount). Even if you are glorified grandparents, stay out. You are no help retaining strings which should be detached no matter how much you love your grandkid. The strings detach at the time of a marriage. Stay on the team and stay in the game by staying out.
There are exceptions. Elsie Jane is an exception. She is in the 50% with her son and the dad has very good and free visitation rules. Quite obviously this has not driven him to any extremes and Brandon is a great, healthy kid. Elsie then has also afforded an also healthy relationship with her ex-in-laws. She has earned that in a possible adverse situation. Others have not earned it and someone ends up paying when nothing is earned. Thats a rule in our universe - earn and learn and reap the return.
Thats it on that one. There is a lot more and there is detail. Detail against my favor as well as for my favor. There are always two sides to the story. I just wanted to write this when a close friend in my church said today that she didn't know I had any kids. She just didn't know because she never sees me with anyone. That just kind of got to me.
This past week, my friend, Aimee, called and told me she is looking for a job. She is a medical examiner in the PHX coroner. She didn't pass some necessary boards and I didn't know what to say. Aimee is a very very cool chick. Great MD.
I told her to know that everything always works out, even if she doesn't think so at the time. I also told her that she is good as she is and not as she should be. And that she has been made for a purpose and that no one can ever take her righteousness away from her. That, when you think you are about to quit, the light is probably closer than you think.
It probably sounded goofy to her, but those are things that I know.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Church, Big Business? Or Fellowship Center?
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Dance, then, wherever you may be.
I am the Lord of the dance said He.
I will lead you all wherever you may be,
For I am the Lord of the dance said He.
That's my favorite church hymn. At least the second verse of it from how I remember it. I always thought it was pretty cool for the writer to talk about Jesus being the dance. The dance of life and living when He was rejected, murdered and still lived on as the dance. Probably, I first heard the song and took it in at about four or so years old. About the same time, I thought it was very powerful of Solomon to ask for wisdom versus riches. I still have that stuff I think about from very young age.
Here's a history. I may forget one or four, though:
St. Mark's United Methodist
Melodyland
Living Faith Lutheran
Happy Church
Christian Fellowship
Vineyard
Asbury United Methodist
Oral Roberts Chapel
Riverview
Kansas City Seeker's Church
Faith Christian Fellowship
Circle of Love
Calvary Temple
Believer's
Open Bible
Victory
Destiny
Guts
People's Church
Church Live TV
Life Church TV
We Do Life
Calvary Chapel
E3 Scottsdale
Cornerstone
Church of Do-What-You-Want-To
The last one is kind of a joke. Not a good joke for the soul of a believer, but it is my aside. I first learned the term Do-What-You-Want-To from a Jacob's Trouble song. They also sang "Hide the Beer, the Pastor's Here". Church of D-W-Y-W-T is the portion when a drop-out has been made and decision to leave corporate church of America. Hide the Beer pretty much occurs when the drop-outs happen. Literally. One time in 2000, I was up at the bar with Justin and the pastor of Guts happened to come in. I helped start off the mega-church in 1992 with Billy. He saw me, I was ashamed, I turned on his approach, and he turned, rejected. I apologized later to him in 2003 and his statement was "Water under the bridge". Cool.
The reason for this post is because of a conflict I have been running into with attending different things/meetings and just having no desire. I'd like to enjoy increased fellowship, but don't see this as being effective with mega-church. Right now my current conclusion has to do with the matter of whether churches today are mostly big business versus true and authentic fellowship. I call my church home now E3 of Scottsdale. I call it home because I honestly feel that they are truly about relationship and fellowship. I enjoy meeting, can't wait for Sunday and get-togethers and know many people there. I think and pray about them daily and also know their names. I look forward to seeing them on any basis, at any time.
In Chandler, I have attempted another church relationship and it just doesn't fit. There is lack of relevance, structure and something which seems built up on the excitatory nature of the herd mentality. I've been to and attended the programs of the very small all the way to the very large. I've had to evaluate my personality and proclivity to prefer the closer knit situations versus being in a herd of cattle. And I've also had to evaluate the herd mentality itself and the nature of the mass population in general. Herds make people comfortable. In true fellowship, you actually involve application, communication, relationship. This is probably achieved best in small groups.
On the subject of the large versus the small. I was brought up early on in the small situation in Santa Barbara. My parents had large prayer studies and, still, I know that everyone knew each other because of the enrichment surrounding a small community. We had potlucks, eat-outs, and all that and it was kind of Kumbya. You knew people actually cared and phone calls, house visits and grill-outs, beach-outs, picnics were achieved. My parents had an open door, no-knock policy.
Its kind of funny because I remember getting extreme stress headaches much of the time surrounding the time of get-togethers. I've always needed space it seems. I also would get the headaches when going to church. I've given thought to this as well. There was a routine I expected on Sunday. We would all be forced to go and it was mom and dad fight morning. Much of the time it was when my dad attacked my mom and all the drive to service, the family would endure my father lighting into my mom. It was so backwards. Of course, we would get out of the car/bus and, all of a sudden, my dad was business and Mr. Socialite and that was it. Couldn't understand that. Gave me a headache. Another aspect to the get-togethers involved my dad's forcefulness in drilling this certain aspect of religion which didn't seem to me to actually be a "real" lifestyle. I just don't think there was a good example coming out of the things I saw in the home. There were certain aspects good and bad. A place where I saw the reality of living in Christ was found at the Friesen's house. But, then, they were kind of boring, but actually living out the reality of their spirituality.
The big church, in my perspective. The first biggie was Happy Church with the (Hickeys). Yep, Happy and Hickey. The first church in Denver. The first visit, I went to Sunday school in this huge place. I was ordered to move to a certain seat, the kids teased me about my winter clothing and I was also forced to hold up my hands during singing. This was pretty disgusting. Did anyone get to know me, the new kid? Was I introduced? Naw, there was no opportunity. It was mega-church. The Sunday school alone was over one hundred kids with friends and factions already made. The only change was made in this situation when it was found that I could get tapes of music because of my dad's gig with christian radio.
The next strange thing I saw was that there was almost no community. People came and then went. A little different. Or a lot. The niche made was in business and politics. Probably the only factor in my family's fellowship with others was my father's actively campaigning for his christian radio and my mom's delving into the business of counseling for the ministry. I'm sure that people's lives were affected positively, but most of it revolved around business. This aspect was probably most revealed in the very real hiearchy of the Happy system of administration. There was the ministry side and the church side; the book and tape side and the TV/radio side. I gave up on the Happy system pretty much right away. A few years went by and I did get blessed by some of the church in different ways, but that took a good and long time.
Other indoctrination into the big churches was Oral Roberts, a KC Seeker's, Destiny, Christian Fellowship, Believer's, Victory, Guts (later years), others. At each of these, there was established very corporate structure. You could get involved and maybe be recognized as a person eventually. If you didn't have an "in" somewhere with a higher-up, though, then you are a number or a paycheck. In the interim, you are hit up for the latest numbers on TV ministry "opportunities", the new mall that they are buying and the new sanctuary being bought so the growth can keep going and you get even smaller. Until you get an insider, then the individual goes in the in door and out the out door only to wait in traffic to get out of the parking lot. I don't call this fellowship and relationship and I also do not think this is what Christ meant the church to be. At this point, this type of church becomes business and should be treated like one.
(An aside - Destiny is an example - I can't tell you how many times I talked to the head pastor and his wife. The last time I was introduced as someone new to the wife, I just told her that we met many times before. She was kind of shocked at my response to "meeting". You know what? I still bought two of the seats in the sanctuary which was never built. Glad I never bought into their bonds deal. I feel sorry for those who did.)
In all fairness. These places do attempt to get you involved in things like small groups. Usually, in the many I have attended, the concept is usually contrived and done out of what "feels" like obligatory action. There is a heart there, but lack of effectiveness in connecting. I have often viewed the lack in effectiveness of the "small" group. Its even worse when you find in excess of twenty to thirty people in one group and then there is rare authentic communication outside the group or even inside the group. Often, there is introduction so that people can get a glimpse. But, its still much of the coming and going again. Just the way it is.
My positives coming out of the mega-church? I have learned a lot. I can count on a few fingers and then there are extensions: Paul, Wes, Brad, Jude, Pat, Carson. Teaching is generally okay and usually music is great. Its relatively easy to introduce someone to the gospel here.
Also, I'm not bitter about this and do contend that the larger the church, the bigger the business and the lesser a person gets. Right now, most communication is via mass email delivery which may even include people's pictures of their family whom will probably never be met. A bit comedic. Part of the problem is the nomadic nature we all now share. Most of us are in three-step: Work-Family-Home. Another problem has to do with extreme growth. Too much, too fast. How in the world would one expect personal identification when a place grows by hundreds per month? The personalization dims with that kind of growth.
But let me see here. If there is to be fellowship, relationship, commitment to stewardship and loving your brother, then is mega-church business truly performing their statement of purpose? The growth most of the time cannot be matched. I'd say that growth is the primary factor in creating the void of true christian fellowship. What if a place of fellowship creates a center and then satellites once a certain goal is achieved? For a lot of these places, that would be a lot of buildings bought and sold. The center (mass sanctuary) could be a mass meeting place for maybe once per month services and then everyone goes to the satellite to truly commit to discipleship/relationship/fellowship.
The satellite could just be someone's house: i.e. small group. But with true structure and the church "business" set aside so the concentration is on truly talking one-on-one, having a meal and development of true mentors with even "appointments" made weekly or semi-weekly with your even smaller mentor group. I know this is already being done in certain areas, but have seen that mega-churches mostly have not developed outside their corporate structure. The average christian and definitely not the "seeker" rarely develop into this system. Obviously there are problems/opportunities which can be dealt with regarding this. But when you have a structure where some pastor-type is running around for his "church" day and night because the place is out of hand with thousands in the population....Well, I've seen this one. Leads to just the church all the time, affairs, factions, political in-fighting, financial woes. Business, right? The average church attendee contributes maybe about $20-$22 per week to their church of choice. If someone becomes a number in thousands with little fellowship opportunity, then why would they want to contribute? Because of obligation? Is the solution an increase in numbers? That's what has contributed to the cycle in the first place. The increased numbers lead to more members getting a machine instead of a real person at the end of the line.
There is also a possible problem with the smaller mentor groups. The biggest, in my opinion, is accountability. People are many times afraid of being honest. How many times have you been in any group and the individuals are courageous enough to know that they are accepted? Or how many times do you go into a group and know that you actually are not accepted "As you are and not as you should be"? The people talking behind your back and saying something to your face which is not true. We will always have that. And it shuts a person down into "feeling" something other than what Christ has stated them to be (Made in Righteousness) from the beginning of their acceptance. Everyone has something - just how it is.
My dad had the beginnings of a small mentor group. I believe that the intentions were good and bright. It went wrong out of lack of honesty and integrity and became C-O-D-W-Y-W-T (Church of Do What You Want To). The leadership was askew and that's too bad. The group may still be going, I don't know. And, hopefully, leadership and accountability has been righted. Or maybe the group is down the drain and a lot of people have been hurt and friendships/fellowships have been torn and raped. Isn't the destroying of these relationships exactly what the devil wants? The devil is here to steal, kill and destroy. He does a good job of this, too. Darn good job.
So. All this said, its my option to stay within a smaller church where I know people actually get to know me and I get to know them. There may be no concerts and I may not get a Tony Robbins seminar but there will be actual true Word translation and fellowship. Guess Tony will benefit because of my having to buy his stuff.
I maintain my relationship with E3 and those guys are a blessing. Fun too. I'm trying to make it to small group dinners and have developing friendships. I also don't feel like going there is helping to maintain a business machine. It usually takes me about 25 minutes to drive there and Elsie Jane has asked me to go to a nearer church since she comes in on Sunday. She's catholic and attends any close place of worship. She comes and goes. I have had to explain to her that this is not why I attend. To come and go. I go for open fellowship and to be around those I care about and to nurture what I feel the church was made for. Shoot, if I did it her way, I would couch it on Sunday, read a few scriptures, pray over breakfast and make it for kick-off of my favorite football games. My way, I get to be closer to people who are the real deal and who I can go to the fights with on Saturday and who are available for honest and open communication and also are there thick and thin.
http://www.fnchiropractic.com/
Dance, then, wherever you may be.
I am the Lord of the dance said He.
I will lead you all wherever you may be,
For I am the Lord of the dance said He.
That's my favorite church hymn. At least the second verse of it from how I remember it. I always thought it was pretty cool for the writer to talk about Jesus being the dance. The dance of life and living when He was rejected, murdered and still lived on as the dance. Probably, I first heard the song and took it in at about four or so years old. About the same time, I thought it was very powerful of Solomon to ask for wisdom versus riches. I still have that stuff I think about from very young age.
Here's a history. I may forget one or four, though:
St. Mark's United Methodist
Melodyland
Living Faith Lutheran
Happy Church
Christian Fellowship
Vineyard
Asbury United Methodist
Oral Roberts Chapel
Riverview
Kansas City Seeker's Church
Faith Christian Fellowship
Circle of Love
Calvary Temple
Believer's
Open Bible
Victory
Destiny
Guts
People's Church
Church Live TV
Life Church TV
We Do Life
Calvary Chapel
E3 Scottsdale
Cornerstone
Church of Do-What-You-Want-To
The last one is kind of a joke. Not a good joke for the soul of a believer, but it is my aside. I first learned the term Do-What-You-Want-To from a Jacob's Trouble song. They also sang "Hide the Beer, the Pastor's Here". Church of D-W-Y-W-T is the portion when a drop-out has been made and decision to leave corporate church of America. Hide the Beer pretty much occurs when the drop-outs happen. Literally. One time in 2000, I was up at the bar with Justin and the pastor of Guts happened to come in. I helped start off the mega-church in 1992 with Billy. He saw me, I was ashamed, I turned on his approach, and he turned, rejected. I apologized later to him in 2003 and his statement was "Water under the bridge". Cool.
The reason for this post is because of a conflict I have been running into with attending different things/meetings and just having no desire. I'd like to enjoy increased fellowship, but don't see this as being effective with mega-church. Right now my current conclusion has to do with the matter of whether churches today are mostly big business versus true and authentic fellowship. I call my church home now E3 of Scottsdale. I call it home because I honestly feel that they are truly about relationship and fellowship. I enjoy meeting, can't wait for Sunday and get-togethers and know many people there. I think and pray about them daily and also know their names. I look forward to seeing them on any basis, at any time.
In Chandler, I have attempted another church relationship and it just doesn't fit. There is lack of relevance, structure and something which seems built up on the excitatory nature of the herd mentality. I've been to and attended the programs of the very small all the way to the very large. I've had to evaluate my personality and proclivity to prefer the closer knit situations versus being in a herd of cattle. And I've also had to evaluate the herd mentality itself and the nature of the mass population in general. Herds make people comfortable. In true fellowship, you actually involve application, communication, relationship. This is probably achieved best in small groups.
On the subject of the large versus the small. I was brought up early on in the small situation in Santa Barbara. My parents had large prayer studies and, still, I know that everyone knew each other because of the enrichment surrounding a small community. We had potlucks, eat-outs, and all that and it was kind of Kumbya. You knew people actually cared and phone calls, house visits and grill-outs, beach-outs, picnics were achieved. My parents had an open door, no-knock policy.
Its kind of funny because I remember getting extreme stress headaches much of the time surrounding the time of get-togethers. I've always needed space it seems. I also would get the headaches when going to church. I've given thought to this as well. There was a routine I expected on Sunday. We would all be forced to go and it was mom and dad fight morning. Much of the time it was when my dad attacked my mom and all the drive to service, the family would endure my father lighting into my mom. It was so backwards. Of course, we would get out of the car/bus and, all of a sudden, my dad was business and Mr. Socialite and that was it. Couldn't understand that. Gave me a headache. Another aspect to the get-togethers involved my dad's forcefulness in drilling this certain aspect of religion which didn't seem to me to actually be a "real" lifestyle. I just don't think there was a good example coming out of the things I saw in the home. There were certain aspects good and bad. A place where I saw the reality of living in Christ was found at the Friesen's house. But, then, they were kind of boring, but actually living out the reality of their spirituality.
The big church, in my perspective. The first biggie was Happy Church with the (Hickeys). Yep, Happy and Hickey. The first church in Denver. The first visit, I went to Sunday school in this huge place. I was ordered to move to a certain seat, the kids teased me about my winter clothing and I was also forced to hold up my hands during singing. This was pretty disgusting. Did anyone get to know me, the new kid? Was I introduced? Naw, there was no opportunity. It was mega-church. The Sunday school alone was over one hundred kids with friends and factions already made. The only change was made in this situation when it was found that I could get tapes of music because of my dad's gig with christian radio.
The next strange thing I saw was that there was almost no community. People came and then went. A little different. Or a lot. The niche made was in business and politics. Probably the only factor in my family's fellowship with others was my father's actively campaigning for his christian radio and my mom's delving into the business of counseling for the ministry. I'm sure that people's lives were affected positively, but most of it revolved around business. This aspect was probably most revealed in the very real hiearchy of the Happy system of administration. There was the ministry side and the church side; the book and tape side and the TV/radio side. I gave up on the Happy system pretty much right away. A few years went by and I did get blessed by some of the church in different ways, but that took a good and long time.
Other indoctrination into the big churches was Oral Roberts, a KC Seeker's, Destiny, Christian Fellowship, Believer's, Victory, Guts (later years), others. At each of these, there was established very corporate structure. You could get involved and maybe be recognized as a person eventually. If you didn't have an "in" somewhere with a higher-up, though, then you are a number or a paycheck. In the interim, you are hit up for the latest numbers on TV ministry "opportunities", the new mall that they are buying and the new sanctuary being bought so the growth can keep going and you get even smaller. Until you get an insider, then the individual goes in the in door and out the out door only to wait in traffic to get out of the parking lot. I don't call this fellowship and relationship and I also do not think this is what Christ meant the church to be. At this point, this type of church becomes business and should be treated like one.
(An aside - Destiny is an example - I can't tell you how many times I talked to the head pastor and his wife. The last time I was introduced as someone new to the wife, I just told her that we met many times before. She was kind of shocked at my response to "meeting". You know what? I still bought two of the seats in the sanctuary which was never built. Glad I never bought into their bonds deal. I feel sorry for those who did.)
In all fairness. These places do attempt to get you involved in things like small groups. Usually, in the many I have attended, the concept is usually contrived and done out of what "feels" like obligatory action. There is a heart there, but lack of effectiveness in connecting. I have often viewed the lack in effectiveness of the "small" group. Its even worse when you find in excess of twenty to thirty people in one group and then there is rare authentic communication outside the group or even inside the group. Often, there is introduction so that people can get a glimpse. But, its still much of the coming and going again. Just the way it is.
My positives coming out of the mega-church? I have learned a lot. I can count on a few fingers and then there are extensions: Paul, Wes, Brad, Jude, Pat, Carson. Teaching is generally okay and usually music is great. Its relatively easy to introduce someone to the gospel here.
Also, I'm not bitter about this and do contend that the larger the church, the bigger the business and the lesser a person gets. Right now, most communication is via mass email delivery which may even include people's pictures of their family whom will probably never be met. A bit comedic. Part of the problem is the nomadic nature we all now share. Most of us are in three-step: Work-Family-Home. Another problem has to do with extreme growth. Too much, too fast. How in the world would one expect personal identification when a place grows by hundreds per month? The personalization dims with that kind of growth.
But let me see here. If there is to be fellowship, relationship, commitment to stewardship and loving your brother, then is mega-church business truly performing their statement of purpose? The growth most of the time cannot be matched. I'd say that growth is the primary factor in creating the void of true christian fellowship. What if a place of fellowship creates a center and then satellites once a certain goal is achieved? For a lot of these places, that would be a lot of buildings bought and sold. The center (mass sanctuary) could be a mass meeting place for maybe once per month services and then everyone goes to the satellite to truly commit to discipleship/relationship/fellowship.
The satellite could just be someone's house: i.e. small group. But with true structure and the church "business" set aside so the concentration is on truly talking one-on-one, having a meal and development of true mentors with even "appointments" made weekly or semi-weekly with your even smaller mentor group. I know this is already being done in certain areas, but have seen that mega-churches mostly have not developed outside their corporate structure. The average christian and definitely not the "seeker" rarely develop into this system. Obviously there are problems/opportunities which can be dealt with regarding this. But when you have a structure where some pastor-type is running around for his "church" day and night because the place is out of hand with thousands in the population....Well, I've seen this one. Leads to just the church all the time, affairs, factions, political in-fighting, financial woes. Business, right? The average church attendee contributes maybe about $20-$22 per week to their church of choice. If someone becomes a number in thousands with little fellowship opportunity, then why would they want to contribute? Because of obligation? Is the solution an increase in numbers? That's what has contributed to the cycle in the first place. The increased numbers lead to more members getting a machine instead of a real person at the end of the line.
There is also a possible problem with the smaller mentor groups. The biggest, in my opinion, is accountability. People are many times afraid of being honest. How many times have you been in any group and the individuals are courageous enough to know that they are accepted? Or how many times do you go into a group and know that you actually are not accepted "As you are and not as you should be"? The people talking behind your back and saying something to your face which is not true. We will always have that. And it shuts a person down into "feeling" something other than what Christ has stated them to be (Made in Righteousness) from the beginning of their acceptance. Everyone has something - just how it is.
My dad had the beginnings of a small mentor group. I believe that the intentions were good and bright. It went wrong out of lack of honesty and integrity and became C-O-D-W-Y-W-T (Church of Do What You Want To). The leadership was askew and that's too bad. The group may still be going, I don't know. And, hopefully, leadership and accountability has been righted. Or maybe the group is down the drain and a lot of people have been hurt and friendships/fellowships have been torn and raped. Isn't the destroying of these relationships exactly what the devil wants? The devil is here to steal, kill and destroy. He does a good job of this, too. Darn good job.
So. All this said, its my option to stay within a smaller church where I know people actually get to know me and I get to know them. There may be no concerts and I may not get a Tony Robbins seminar but there will be actual true Word translation and fellowship. Guess Tony will benefit because of my having to buy his stuff.
I maintain my relationship with E3 and those guys are a blessing. Fun too. I'm trying to make it to small group dinners and have developing friendships. I also don't feel like going there is helping to maintain a business machine. It usually takes me about 25 minutes to drive there and Elsie Jane has asked me to go to a nearer church since she comes in on Sunday. She's catholic and attends any close place of worship. She comes and goes. I have had to explain to her that this is not why I attend. To come and go. I go for open fellowship and to be around those I care about and to nurture what I feel the church was made for. Shoot, if I did it her way, I would couch it on Sunday, read a few scriptures, pray over breakfast and make it for kick-off of my favorite football games. My way, I get to be closer to people who are the real deal and who I can go to the fights with on Saturday and who are available for honest and open communication and also are there thick and thin.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Dave
www.fnchiropractic.com
www.bionicdoc.com
www.bionicscott.com
Dave. I'm so glad you left post on my weblog. The BionicBand has completely changed my life. I'm only 37 years old and every year going by has seemingly been more stressful. I've had no explanation for it until finding out about emf and all the ramifications regarding it. Your sleep and dreams are somethings I definitely identify with. Just finally getting good sleep has helped change the person I am. I also have experienced detoxification which I can only explain through the P.A.R.T. technology. It is truly amazing. I just hope that you will experience some of the great things I have. Ha! I'm still loosing hair at the monk's cap, but continue to have no gray! Maybe the hair loss will change.
As a chiropractor, I have many times attempted leading horses to water and to no avail. Some things cannot be explained except for the one who actually comes and drinks from the well. Financially I wish to benefit from proton alignment technology, but my greater purpose is to see how many benefit healthfully from this stuff. That, to me, is worth more than a million.
One of my greatest new patients is L. I've known her socially for about one year now and she had a bad car crash and now I am her doctor. I got to my office on emergency visit Wednesday. She is doing well excepting bad whiplash and probably low back complication which will most likely be present in about two weeks according to my history with this sort of thing. I didn't know certain things about L prior to treating her and I am truly blessed that she is coming in for care. I watch people when I am doing my thing. When I watched L, I noticed certain problems with her movements and posture and finally get to include her on education of chiropractic and how much this kind of care can do for a person.
One of my first new patients out of school ten years ago was sent in to me by his wife. Outside of clinic in school, I think this guy was probably my fifth patient ever. After two visits, his wife came to me and asked for a "closed" session. I was scared. I didn't have insurance coverage. So, anyway, she asked me what I did to her husband. I did not have a response and a turtle head was growing in my pants. After what was probably only ten seconds which felt like thirty minutes, the lady said that they had been married for over 25 years. In that span, the guy never said he loved his wife and she had often wondered. I don't know what happened exactly, but I treated him for low back twice and he became a chiropractic patient for life. His wife made him come in after she got sick over his constant complaint. Well, after the second visit his wife came in. After 25 years of marriage, he told his wife that he loved her and even brought flowers home. She was almost crying in my office over this. To this day I don't know if I really did anything. I just performed chiropractic as I know it. I did what I would want done to me and that is it. I still don't know sometimes the power of what it means to let the nerves live in a person but I do know what this does for me.
I was coached earlier today by my friend Dr. Dawson. This guy should be published. I'm still working through everything he taught me today on the workings of upper cervical treatment. This was only a twenty minute session and encompassed two years of work which I never learned in college. Dr. Dawson is a genius. If you are a reader, everyone on earth can benefit from chiropractic care. That is fact, in my opinion. I've seen it and lived it and will never do without it. I feel pain for those who do not get chiropractic. I am now a 17+ year veteran of the sport.
www.bionicdoc.com
www.bionicscott.com
Dave. I'm so glad you left post on my weblog. The BionicBand has completely changed my life. I'm only 37 years old and every year going by has seemingly been more stressful. I've had no explanation for it until finding out about emf and all the ramifications regarding it. Your sleep and dreams are somethings I definitely identify with. Just finally getting good sleep has helped change the person I am. I also have experienced detoxification which I can only explain through the P.A.R.T. technology. It is truly amazing. I just hope that you will experience some of the great things I have. Ha! I'm still loosing hair at the monk's cap, but continue to have no gray! Maybe the hair loss will change.
As a chiropractor, I have many times attempted leading horses to water and to no avail. Some things cannot be explained except for the one who actually comes and drinks from the well. Financially I wish to benefit from proton alignment technology, but my greater purpose is to see how many benefit healthfully from this stuff. That, to me, is worth more than a million.
One of my greatest new patients is L. I've known her socially for about one year now and she had a bad car crash and now I am her doctor. I got to my office on emergency visit Wednesday. She is doing well excepting bad whiplash and probably low back complication which will most likely be present in about two weeks according to my history with this sort of thing. I didn't know certain things about L prior to treating her and I am truly blessed that she is coming in for care. I watch people when I am doing my thing. When I watched L, I noticed certain problems with her movements and posture and finally get to include her on education of chiropractic and how much this kind of care can do for a person.
One of my first new patients out of school ten years ago was sent in to me by his wife. Outside of clinic in school, I think this guy was probably my fifth patient ever. After two visits, his wife came to me and asked for a "closed" session. I was scared. I didn't have insurance coverage. So, anyway, she asked me what I did to her husband. I did not have a response and a turtle head was growing in my pants. After what was probably only ten seconds which felt like thirty minutes, the lady said that they had been married for over 25 years. In that span, the guy never said he loved his wife and she had often wondered. I don't know what happened exactly, but I treated him for low back twice and he became a chiropractic patient for life. His wife made him come in after she got sick over his constant complaint. Well, after the second visit his wife came in. After 25 years of marriage, he told his wife that he loved her and even brought flowers home. She was almost crying in my office over this. To this day I don't know if I really did anything. I just performed chiropractic as I know it. I did what I would want done to me and that is it. I still don't know sometimes the power of what it means to let the nerves live in a person but I do know what this does for me.
I was coached earlier today by my friend Dr. Dawson. This guy should be published. I'm still working through everything he taught me today on the workings of upper cervical treatment. This was only a twenty minute session and encompassed two years of work which I never learned in college. Dr. Dawson is a genius. If you are a reader, everyone on earth can benefit from chiropractic care. That is fact, in my opinion. I've seen it and lived it and will never do without it. I feel pain for those who do not get chiropractic. I am now a 17+ year veteran of the sport.
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