Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Razors, toothbrush, toothpaste and deodorant

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Hi.
Today, I decided to be Superman. No kidding. Five new patients scheduled did not motivate me enough to get going out of the sleep phase. I had to do something fun so I put that little curl on my forehead and wore a form-fitting shirt to show my proportions. It was the curl which transformed me. I even pasted it with hairspray so it would glisten. No kidding, I was then Superman. So I "flew" off in my Saab built by jet engineers. Only problem was I couldn't fly too fast because of all the stinking cameras now all over the freeways. I got to fly at 55.

Razors, toothbrush, toothpaste and deodorant. I haven't bought any of that for well over one to two years now. Its because I stocked up. I actually have bought some toothpaste, but it hasn't cost much of anything. I buy it at the dollar store.

Deodorant, I found a good Adidas brand made by a major company. It was on sale for a third of the regular price and discontinued by Walgreens and I bought about fifteen of them at the time in three different scents. I bought so many since it was a great buy and good brand and I know I will use it and it doesn't go bad. All just deodorant and no anti-perspirant. I used to have sweaty pits until I figured something out. My pits were chemically reacting to anti-perspirant additives like aluminum and zinc. In 1997, I went to straight deodorant, and, voila, no more sweaty pits and ring around the shoulder. I rotate the three scented deodorants I have and they dominate the bottom of the medicine cabinet.

My toothbrush I purchased about two years ago is an Oral-B sonic brush and it gives me a great clean. Only problem was the extreme cost of brush refills. About the same cost of the wand for two replacement brushes. I couldn't believe that one. I went to ebay and purchased about twenty of the refills for about ten bucks and still have two years to go before another buy. Not too bad. Ebay - my hero.

My toothpaste. I don't like any one paste on the market and most tubes are in the three dollar range. A little over a year ago I got to thinking about this while lazing in the pool. I decided to do my own formula for what I wanted. I got a small container out of the kitchen which is never used. I'm not even sure why Rubbermaid puts those really little tubs in their boxes of 18 sized tubs and lids. I think its for those inclined to mix up their own toothpaste. After that, I went to the dollar store and bought a variety of name brand larger sized pastes and a few boxes of baking soda. I squeezed out one third of the tubes of three different pastes and added a quarter box of baking soda into my Rubbermaid toothpaste holder. Mixed everything up with a Q-Tip and finally enjoyed a great toothpaste. My latest mix turned out purple as I used a red cinnamon tube by Pepsodent. Turned everything purple and now I have a dinosaur paste any kid would love.

Razors. Thats a perplexing one. I remember a discussion I once had with my brother over how quickly the things dull and sometimes get scratchy. I think at the time the consensus was that the metal deteriorates due to banging it against the sink. I think we were wrong. Then I remember reading in the book, Coyotes, how many Mexicans will go over six months with the same razor. I didn't know how a good shave could ever be gotten that way.
My favorite three are the Mach 3 and Quattro and Lady Quattro. You know how much the refills cost? Something like ten to thirteen dollars for four depending on which blades. I used to go through a blade maybe once a week, give or take a few days. Expensive.
So I started looking. I bought four of those Infinity razors. Lame lame lame. Worst blade yet. Before getting them in the mail, I was all excited and I grew a five day beard so I could test the best blade ever. Well, at least the free meat cleaver is comparable to my Henckels.
The different razors got me thinking, though. I finally got a close look at the blades after a few shaves and noticed the clutter inside. It wasn't broken metal and, also, possibly not even dulled. A bunch of hair in there - stuck inside and between. The water pressure out of the sink was not doing the job and violently shaking and tapping in a basin didn't do it. I attempted to rinse the blades out with the kitchen shooter and it does not direct forceful enough flow to clean much.
I went extreme. Purchased a directional flow flexible shower extension. Cleans the blades flawlessly. On ebay I purchased multiples of my favorite blades a while ago and I don't foresee having to ever buy the things again for a long, long, long time.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

My first office and ebay mostly

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I've been forced by unseen evidence to remember good circumstance in order to avail myself to fight bad circumstance. I have a good list which overpowers a bad list. In this little excerpt I identify the good in my practices.

I started my initial practice in Tulsa with no fortitude. It was luck, graciousness, ebay and reality which fueled what it is I do.

My first office was on Garnett Road. I was gifted by Dr. Smith with equipment. Adjusting tables, intersegmental traction tables, e-stims. That was a start. I already owned therapy tables which I purchased in KC from a deceased chiropractor. I was set for a bit. Had a computer and purchased software on a budget where EZ-Bis took in payments over ten months for a thousand or so. I purchased an ultrasound unit for $1200 from a local company which later went out of business. I moved to an office and had to change. Dr. Kats gifted me with a desk, office chairs and furniture and his time. A dentist friend gifted me with office chairs and file cabinets.
My introduction to ebay was in purchasing an x-ray machine and processor. Went to New York on Long Island to pick up x-ray. Went to Long Island over a weekend with a girl who never seemed to sleep. Got a guy to set up the unit on the side of his brother's business and my total was $1400 for a $10000 project. The x-ray was paid for by my travel and time and I made it up in about two to three days. My first processor, I had to pick up outside San Antonio and the total for that rivaled half the cost of my actual x-ray machine. On ebay I ended up buying another processor from Branson which I picked up and that was about two years after my initial processor. The automatic processor is very important and probably the biggest headache in x-rays. That can get expensive. That second AFP was a total of $400 plus my gas and time to drive to Branson. The first processor was gas, time and about $700. The actual cost was so much because I got auction anxiety and I refused to let someone outbid me. It wasn't a good buy.
Another all-time ebay purchase for me was for therapy equipment. This company in Fort Scott, KS expanded their facility and I banked. They are a non-profit organization and put a bunch of stuff up on ebay. I won on three bids and requested to pick up personally. The items I won were for about $450 and they were two stim units and one combo which were worth new about $15000. When I went to Fort Scott to pick the stuff up, I was in the middle of a fire sale. Everything had to go. I looked at the size of my Chrysler LHS and all the stuff and systemacally loaded up. Couldn't see out the rearview mirror and only spent an additional $150 on things like extra ortho products, med desks, pictures, therapy desks and stim units. That was totally cool. Total bank. My office was transformed.
Ebay got me therapeutic pictures, clinical diagnostic tables and therapy tables at a fraction of the cost. X-ray film? Ebay. Hundreds of films for pennies. I even bought tons of cassettes and then re-sold them. Top quality Kodak, Fuji and AGFA. I brought hundreds of thousands in hard-costs down to less than tens of thousands. I have been so blessed by all of this.
Anyone can do it. The only problem is that it does take time and patience which most do not possess. I even had a candy machine in the office which came from ebay and one of those neon "open" signs. Ebay is crazy and it has made me a living.

I had an assistant in the first office and, when she was irritated with how I handled business at one point, I took her through my process: I pointed out to her everything and where it came from. It was enlightening to me. Our whole argument began out of her disliking my paying for Billy's trip with us to KC for a seminar. I told her that the least I could do for Billy was give him a trip out of town since he has referred well over twenty of the people we see. He contributed probably over twenty thousand dollars to my practice because he is my friend and I saved him from surgery and he knows chiropractic. I really miss Billy. So I showed my assistant how much of the practice was not her and it definitely was not me. It started with the blessings from Dr. Smith, Dr. Kats, the dentist and ebay. None of it was me. I didn't do it. I did pay for some things, but in the end, it was just earning and learning. No big deal and just how it is. I put in sweat and tears but that didn't make what we did. It is just how it is.
I don't think K ever got the picture, but I sure did. And Billy got an enjoyable trip out of town and the best steak dinner ever at Hereford House in KC.

Today I am blessed with a great situation and I only see it as being great and greater. Its just a matter of time when people find that I do more with less, and, much of the time - its not even me doing it - its just being and living and knowing that I know that I know that I know. So simple that it can be complex. This life is sometimes crazy.

Ranked #2 in Section 3, 1 out of 4 Scenarios Divorce

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Hi. Its been a while.

Today in church there was this totally hot female and I caught her checking me out. I wanted to go up to her and say, "Hi, I am, state your name, and I would love to find out more about you". She was standing without obstructions and available and flashing her empty ring finger. Hot hot hot. A few years ago, this would have been great. I have Elsie now and she is the best. So the intro did not happen. In my history, it would probably have been crash and burn in less than four days and another female anyway. I have a loooooong history of that and you can take my word for it. The only strange integer in there would be if the hottie had fed me which extends any possible relationship.

Last night I was at Chris's place and watching the UFC Couture fight which was very disappointing. I probably have spelling errors all over the place here. But, anyway, right before the fight I got a call from my ex-wife. I was hoping it was my son, Josiah, calling to finally touch base. Ha! Well, go figure, it wasn't. Just the ex. She asked if I had a moment and I said no, about fifteen minutes I could call back. She didn't regard that statement and decided to proclaim any number of cussings that I don't know if any sailor even knows. On her second call of about six, I stated that I would not listen to such things and that, if she calls to get my son on the phone and she attempted multiple call backs just to berate me with different names. Would be much easier if she would just simply get my own son on the phone, but she does not. It was a bit comical although not so much so. I don't accept that kind of junk as a man and, if you don'[t accept a gift, it goes back to the sender. Hate to see how her gift has gotten back to her. Too bad she is the recipient of all the ramblings she was saying. I kind of felt like holding the phone up to my neighbor's ear who happens to be my great friend and pastor of my church who I have known for a good eight years or so. Wes has been around me during some strange parts of my life. And he also knows my son, Josiah.

In my years of chiropractic practice I have found that about 80% of what I do is learning about people and their lives and the other 20% is actually the healing part. The 80% of a divorced situation with kids is different. In divorce with kids, you find one of four or so different things. The rarity is the dad who has the kid and, most of the time, you find a dad who is very good about the mom involving herself with the kids life/lives. With the moms, you find a number who are okay with visitation which lies at about 50% of them. The other ways go about 25%/25%. These are the ones who either 1) Wish their dads had something to do with their kids or 2) Want nothing to do with a dad and wish the dad would go to hell and they do anything to get in the way of any possible relationship.
My own situation most closely resembles the #2 of the 25%. I have been adequately prepared for this situation, but, at times, I do wonder since I go through poor coping skills. Doesn't make much sense to me excepting on my own analysis of the DSM text and experience through experiences. Guess you could call it a practice and research orientation.

So, anyway, got the call last night right before the main event and a really always angry ex. Really funny how she is always so angry since I still have no gray and she probably has bunches of it as well as crow's feet. Anger does a lot and it also showed on her mom who probably gave the inheritance (inheritance of angry/controlling lack of accountability behavior). It is a bit perplexing because the ex has done everything in her power to deter me from having anything to do with my son's life and I have just let it be because it is so damaging. Damaging to me (selfishly) as well as my son potentially. It killed me to have to go through it and also fight it so I decided to set it aside. So, since I have let the situation aside, now the ex is vehement about my lack of involvement and that my son is wrenched over the lack of relationship with his dad. Well, there is a saying, "Damned if you do, damned if you don't".

I'm really glad that my friend, Pastor Wes, was there during the call. He's been asking me about seeing Josiah. So has Tonya, his wife. The last time I saw JP was the Monday after Thanksgiving in '05. She showed up at my office in Tulsa after being there for a week and my not knowing it. She showed with my son in my office when I was busy with patients and work and gave me no opportunity during the entire time of their stay to schedule anything since, of course, she did not notify of their arrival. It was a gratuitous fifteen minute "hello" to satisfy her conscience to say that she did her job. JOKE joke joke. So Wes got to hear from the call what kind of animal female I am dealing with before we got to see the potential UFC fight of the year. At least I don't think he could have missed the rants coming out of my ear piece one foot away from his ear.
Wes asks about Josiah about every other time we visit because, for some reason, he noticed my son. He also asks, I think, because he is ready to have some kids of his own. Wes was also near to me when I was breaking my back to stay in business and also stay in contact with my boy.

There was a time when I had JP and Wes did not know it. I brought my son to Sunday school. A day later, Wes visited my office and told me that he didn't know I had JP. I didn't know that Wes even knew what JP looked like. I guess my kid sat in the front row and totally involved himself with the stuff on Sunday and Wes was leading it. I thought that was cool. My own son was doing it like I intend to if something is important - staying front and center. Cool. Josiah is in the game.

There are two sides to the story. I've done my very stupid mistakes and the ex is particular to her dumb mistakes. Who cares? Who wants to throw the first rock? You know what I'm saying? I know that I have thrown a few rocks and have found that they come back and give me a black eye. I hope that, now, I am the one who holds onto the rock and packs it in a secure suitcase. Well, I know I am that one. I also know that I have on what is termed the armor of God. I put it on everyday because I know that, on any given Sunday......I get a call from a b#$@*. Just kind of kidding there. It is the art of war. We are given the tools and they are fit for our warfare. We are told that is so and it remains true. I was recently prepared for last night's little calls by three dreams in the previous two nights involving the angry ex and her proclivities and my parents, as well, with their lack of responsiveness to being on my team. The dreams were extremely vivid and I knew that something was either going to attack or I was just having healing of memories.

There is still a lot more. My parents are involved. You ever have people on your team and they turn on you? A friend you give confidential information to and they send it on to your enemy? That would be my parents. For some reason, they give out the confidential. If you ever want someone to spread what is of FYI, I'll give you their #'s. I still have not figured out if they want to think that any information is everyone's information or if it is simply a living through everyone else's living. I think it is a combination of the two combined with a Munchauser syndrome which is an indepth look which is for another spot on the weblog.

So. The parents and the ex. What was it, the first Batman movie, "Who do you trust, who do you trust", stated by Nicholson as the Joker. For some strange reason my parents thought themselves as counselors and adequate third party to my marriage. Due to my heavy schedule in school and work and everything, I would have to schedule a later "appointment" to deal with any conflict she would come up with. It was just how it was - You have a beef, I would schedule it for later because I had twenty exams coming at me at the same time. This was a legitimate appointment and I knew what could be handled at any given time. What would happen was the ex had/has no patience (like previous phone call mentioned where I stated fifteen minutes and she couldn't wait until fight over) and she would get my parents (usually mom) on the horn and talk about her stuff. Well, the jack was talked over and then my appointment was never kept. So we never dealt with our stuff - all the steam was let out before I could get around to it. I had to tell my parents to stay out and not receive the calls. They never stopped. We divorced.
During the ex stages, the same thing. I had to tell them to stay out. Same thing. They never stayed out. Pisses me off. Probably at the half of my divorce, the parents were on suspension from my team.
When the parents helped the ex move away from me in Tulsa with my son was when they were ejected from my team after already being placed on the bench. It took a slow communication ejection for me. I found it difficult to understand how someone on my team could do such a thing. I would never do that to my own and even if it were to my detriment, I would take anything to the grave.
Here are the things they didn't see. I moved from family and friends to somewhere I didn't like and spent thousands on starting business and spent 24/7 fighting to just be near my kid. A ton of energy, emotion, time, money. I made it - of course. Had nowhere to go but up, you know. But then, my team (parents), helped my son to move away after everything I established. What the hell? My own team? You know what they said? Just quit your practice and move to CO. BS. I just spent thousands, all this energy, time always on and you think I can just throw it and just move to follow the louse of an ex-spouse? What kind of BS is that? So for years I attempted travel back and forth constantly and it depleted the life out of me and stole a part of my sanity. It also has now turned me into a Braveheart kind of guy. I know I am provided for and that Jehovah Nissi is sitting next to me in the convertible and I know who is now on my team -- a bunch of free agents who earn their positions.

Its funny because the parents would continue to get information and then disperse it to the ex as if its all open info and never FYI. So there goes my ex-communicado. Its too bad for me, too bad for them, but loose lips sink tight ships. Still anyway, it drove me kind of crazy for a day.
Like, it is still difficult for me to figure out how someone as close as family could help turn a rudder in such a direction. I just deal with it now and recognize that, sometimes, you have to trade in for a free agent.
So, in the #2 department of divorce where the lady wants nothing to do with the dad. Everything given to the female is ammunition, no matter what circumstance. With my parents, they supplied the #2 and have given it jet fuel with a large amount of information, communication, you-name-its. I had one lady who wished the dad would take the kids, even if just for a weekend so she could get a break. My parents supply that one by baby-sitting and taking my kid in three or more times a week. No more need for time off, I guess. Last I knew, my mom was taking Josiah to the movies with a buddy and probably picking up the tab (nice perk for the single mom, eh? - time off and a monetary discount). Even if you are glorified grandparents, stay out. You are no help retaining strings which should be detached no matter how much you love your grandkid. The strings detach at the time of a marriage. Stay on the team and stay in the game by staying out.
There are exceptions. Elsie Jane is an exception. She is in the 50% with her son and the dad has very good and free visitation rules. Quite obviously this has not driven him to any extremes and Brandon is a great, healthy kid. Elsie then has also afforded an also healthy relationship with her ex-in-laws. She has earned that in a possible adverse situation. Others have not earned it and someone ends up paying when nothing is earned. Thats a rule in our universe - earn and learn and reap the return.

Thats it on that one. There is a lot more and there is detail. Detail against my favor as well as for my favor. There are always two sides to the story. I just wanted to write this when a close friend in my church said today that she didn't know I had any kids. She just didn't know because she never sees me with anyone. That just kind of got to me.

This past week, my friend, Aimee, called and told me she is looking for a job. She is a medical examiner in the PHX coroner. She didn't pass some necessary boards and I didn't know what to say. Aimee is a very very cool chick. Great MD.
I told her to know that everything always works out, even if she doesn't think so at the time. I also told her that she is good as she is and not as she should be. And that she has been made for a purpose and that no one can ever take her righteousness away from her. That, when you think you are about to quit, the light is probably closer than you think.
It probably sounded goofy to her, but those are things that I know.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Church, Big Business? Or Fellowship Center?

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Dance, then, wherever you may be.
I am the Lord of the dance said He.
I will lead you all wherever you may be,
For I am the Lord of the dance said He.

That's my favorite church hymn. At least the second verse of it from how I remember it. I always thought it was pretty cool for the writer to talk about Jesus being the dance. The dance of life and living when He was rejected, murdered and still lived on as the dance. Probably, I first heard the song and took it in at about four or so years old. About the same time, I thought it was very powerful of Solomon to ask for wisdom versus riches. I still have that stuff I think about from very young age.

Here's a history. I may forget one or four, though:

St. Mark's United Methodist
Melodyland
Living Faith Lutheran
Happy Church
Christian Fellowship
Vineyard
Asbury United Methodist
Oral Roberts Chapel
Riverview
Kansas City Seeker's Church
Faith Christian Fellowship
Circle of Love
Calvary Temple
Believer's
Open Bible
Victory
Destiny
Guts
People's Church
Church Live TV
Life Church TV
We Do Life
Calvary Chapel
E3 Scottsdale
Cornerstone
Church of Do-What-You-Want-To

The last one is kind of a joke. Not a good joke for the soul of a believer, but it is my aside. I first learned the term Do-What-You-Want-To from a Jacob's Trouble song. They also sang "Hide the Beer, the Pastor's Here". Church of D-W-Y-W-T is the portion when a drop-out has been made and decision to leave corporate church of America. Hide the Beer pretty much occurs when the drop-outs happen. Literally. One time in 2000, I was up at the bar with Justin and the pastor of Guts happened to come in. I helped start off the mega-church in 1992 with Billy. He saw me, I was ashamed, I turned on his approach, and he turned, rejected. I apologized later to him in 2003 and his statement was "Water under the bridge". Cool.

The reason for this post is because of a conflict I have been running into with attending different things/meetings and just having no desire. I'd like to enjoy increased fellowship, but don't see this as being effective with mega-church. Right now my current conclusion has to do with the matter of whether churches today are mostly big business versus true and authentic fellowship. I call my church home now E3 of Scottsdale. I call it home because I honestly feel that they are truly about relationship and fellowship. I enjoy meeting, can't wait for Sunday and get-togethers and know many people there. I think and pray about them daily and also know their names. I look forward to seeing them on any basis, at any time.
In Chandler, I have attempted another church relationship and it just doesn't fit. There is lack of relevance, structure and something which seems built up on the excitatory nature of the herd mentality. I've been to and attended the programs of the very small all the way to the very large. I've had to evaluate my personality and proclivity to prefer the closer knit situations versus being in a herd of cattle. And I've also had to evaluate the herd mentality itself and the nature of the mass population in general. Herds make people comfortable. In true fellowship, you actually involve application, communication, relationship. This is probably achieved best in small groups.
On the subject of the large versus the small. I was brought up early on in the small situation in Santa Barbara. My parents had large prayer studies and, still, I know that everyone knew each other because of the enrichment surrounding a small community. We had potlucks, eat-outs, and all that and it was kind of Kumbya. You knew people actually cared and phone calls, house visits and grill-outs, beach-outs, picnics were achieved. My parents had an open door, no-knock policy.
Its kind of funny because I remember getting extreme stress headaches much of the time surrounding the time of get-togethers. I've always needed space it seems. I also would get the headaches when going to church. I've given thought to this as well. There was a routine I expected on Sunday. We would all be forced to go and it was mom and dad fight morning. Much of the time it was when my dad attacked my mom and all the drive to service, the family would endure my father lighting into my mom. It was so backwards. Of course, we would get out of the car/bus and, all of a sudden, my dad was business and Mr. Socialite and that was it. Couldn't understand that. Gave me a headache. Another aspect to the get-togethers involved my dad's forcefulness in drilling this certain aspect of religion which didn't seem to me to actually be a "real" lifestyle. I just don't think there was a good example coming out of the things I saw in the home. There were certain aspects good and bad. A place where I saw the reality of living in Christ was found at the Friesen's house. But, then, they were kind of boring, but actually living out the reality of their spirituality.

The big church, in my perspective. The first biggie was Happy Church with the (Hickeys). Yep, Happy and Hickey. The first church in Denver. The first visit, I went to Sunday school in this huge place. I was ordered to move to a certain seat, the kids teased me about my winter clothing and I was also forced to hold up my hands during singing. This was pretty disgusting. Did anyone get to know me, the new kid? Was I introduced? Naw, there was no opportunity. It was mega-church. The Sunday school alone was over one hundred kids with friends and factions already made. The only change was made in this situation when it was found that I could get tapes of music because of my dad's gig with christian radio.
The next strange thing I saw was that there was almost no community. People came and then went. A little different. Or a lot. The niche made was in business and politics. Probably the only factor in my family's fellowship with others was my father's actively campaigning for his christian radio and my mom's delving into the business of counseling for the ministry. I'm sure that people's lives were affected positively, but most of it revolved around business. This aspect was probably most revealed in the very real hiearchy of the Happy system of administration. There was the ministry side and the church side; the book and tape side and the TV/radio side. I gave up on the Happy system pretty much right away. A few years went by and I did get blessed by some of the church in different ways, but that took a good and long time.

Other indoctrination into the big churches was Oral Roberts, a KC Seeker's, Destiny, Christian Fellowship, Believer's, Victory, Guts (later years), others. At each of these, there was established very corporate structure. You could get involved and maybe be recognized as a person eventually. If you didn't have an "in" somewhere with a higher-up, though, then you are a number or a paycheck. In the interim, you are hit up for the latest numbers on TV ministry "opportunities", the new mall that they are buying and the new sanctuary being bought so the growth can keep going and you get even smaller. Until you get an insider, then the individual goes in the in door and out the out door only to wait in traffic to get out of the parking lot. I don't call this fellowship and relationship and I also do not think this is what Christ meant the church to be. At this point, this type of church becomes business and should be treated like one.

(An aside - Destiny is an example - I can't tell you how many times I talked to the head pastor and his wife. The last time I was introduced as someone new to the wife, I just told her that we met many times before. She was kind of shocked at my response to "meeting". You know what? I still bought two of the seats in the sanctuary which was never built. Glad I never bought into their bonds deal. I feel sorry for those who did.)

In all fairness. These places do attempt to get you involved in things like small groups. Usually, in the many I have attended, the concept is usually contrived and done out of what "feels" like obligatory action. There is a heart there, but lack of effectiveness in connecting. I have often viewed the lack in effectiveness of the "small" group. Its even worse when you find in excess of twenty to thirty people in one group and then there is rare authentic communication outside the group or even inside the group. Often, there is introduction so that people can get a glimpse. But, its still much of the coming and going again. Just the way it is.
My positives coming out of the mega-church? I have learned a lot. I can count on a few fingers and then there are extensions: Paul, Wes, Brad, Jude, Pat, Carson. Teaching is generally okay and usually music is great. Its relatively easy to introduce someone to the gospel here.

Also, I'm not bitter about this and do contend that the larger the church, the bigger the business and the lesser a person gets. Right now, most communication is via mass email delivery which may even include people's pictures of their family whom will probably never be met. A bit comedic. Part of the problem is the nomadic nature we all now share. Most of us are in three-step: Work-Family-Home. Another problem has to do with extreme growth. Too much, too fast. How in the world would one expect personal identification when a place grows by hundreds per month? The personalization dims with that kind of growth.

But let me see here. If there is to be fellowship, relationship, commitment to stewardship and loving your brother, then is mega-church business truly performing their statement of purpose? The growth most of the time cannot be matched. I'd say that growth is the primary factor in creating the void of true christian fellowship. What if a place of fellowship creates a center and then satellites once a certain goal is achieved? For a lot of these places, that would be a lot of buildings bought and sold. The center (mass sanctuary) could be a mass meeting place for maybe once per month services and then everyone goes to the satellite to truly commit to discipleship/relationship/fellowship.
The satellite could just be someone's house: i.e. small group. But with true structure and the church "business" set aside so the concentration is on truly talking one-on-one, having a meal and development of true mentors with even "appointments" made weekly or semi-weekly with your even smaller mentor group. I know this is already being done in certain areas, but have seen that mega-churches mostly have not developed outside their corporate structure. The average christian and definitely not the "seeker" rarely develop into this system. Obviously there are problems/opportunities which can be dealt with regarding this. But when you have a structure where some pastor-type is running around for his "church" day and night because the place is out of hand with thousands in the population....Well, I've seen this one. Leads to just the church all the time, affairs, factions, political in-fighting, financial woes. Business, right? The average church attendee contributes maybe about $20-$22 per week to their church of choice. If someone becomes a number in thousands with little fellowship opportunity, then why would they want to contribute? Because of obligation? Is the solution an increase in numbers? That's what has contributed to the cycle in the first place. The increased numbers lead to more members getting a machine instead of a real person at the end of the line.

There is also a possible problem with the smaller mentor groups. The biggest, in my opinion, is accountability. People are many times afraid of being honest. How many times have you been in any group and the individuals are courageous enough to know that they are accepted? Or how many times do you go into a group and know that you actually are not accepted "As you are and not as you should be"? The people talking behind your back and saying something to your face which is not true. We will always have that. And it shuts a person down into "feeling" something other than what Christ has stated them to be (Made in Righteousness) from the beginning of their acceptance. Everyone has something - just how it is.
My dad had the beginnings of a small mentor group. I believe that the intentions were good and bright. It went wrong out of lack of honesty and integrity and became C-O-D-W-Y-W-T (Church of Do What You Want To). The leadership was askew and that's too bad. The group may still be going, I don't know. And, hopefully, leadership and accountability has been righted. Or maybe the group is down the drain and a lot of people have been hurt and friendships/fellowships have been torn and raped. Isn't the destroying of these relationships exactly what the devil wants? The devil is here to steal, kill and destroy. He does a good job of this, too. Darn good job.

So. All this said, its my option to stay within a smaller church where I know people actually get to know me and I get to know them. There may be no concerts and I may not get a Tony Robbins seminar but there will be actual true Word translation and fellowship. Guess Tony will benefit because of my having to buy his stuff.
I maintain my relationship with E3 and those guys are a blessing. Fun too. I'm trying to make it to small group dinners and have developing friendships. I also don't feel like going there is helping to maintain a business machine. It usually takes me about 25 minutes to drive there and Elsie Jane has asked me to go to a nearer church since she comes in on Sunday. She's catholic and attends any close place of worship. She comes and goes. I have had to explain to her that this is not why I attend. To come and go. I go for open fellowship and to be around those I care about and to nurture what I feel the church was made for. Shoot, if I did it her way, I would couch it on Sunday, read a few scriptures, pray over breakfast and make it for kick-off of my favorite football games. My way, I get to be closer to people who are the real deal and who I can go to the fights with on Saturday and who are available for honest and open communication and also are there thick and thin.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Dave

www.fnchiropractic.com

www.bionicdoc.com

www.bionicscott.com


Dave. I'm so glad you left post on my weblog. The BionicBand has completely changed my life. I'm only 37 years old and every year going by has seemingly been more stressful. I've had no explanation for it until finding out about emf and all the ramifications regarding it. Your sleep and dreams are somethings I definitely identify with. Just finally getting good sleep has helped change the person I am. I also have experienced detoxification which I can only explain through the P.A.R.T. technology. It is truly amazing. I just hope that you will experience some of the great things I have. Ha! I'm still loosing hair at the monk's cap, but continue to have no gray! Maybe the hair loss will change.
As a chiropractor, I have many times attempted leading horses to water and to no avail. Some things cannot be explained except for the one who actually comes and drinks from the well. Financially I wish to benefit from proton alignment technology, but my greater purpose is to see how many benefit healthfully from this stuff. That, to me, is worth more than a million.

One of my greatest new patients is L. I've known her socially for about one year now and she had a bad car crash and now I am her doctor. I got to my office on emergency visit Wednesday. She is doing well excepting bad whiplash and probably low back complication which will most likely be present in about two weeks according to my history with this sort of thing. I didn't know certain things about L prior to treating her and I am truly blessed that she is coming in for care. I watch people when I am doing my thing. When I watched L, I noticed certain problems with her movements and posture and finally get to include her on education of chiropractic and how much this kind of care can do for a person.

One of my first new patients out of school ten years ago was sent in to me by his wife. Outside of clinic in school, I think this guy was probably my fifth patient ever. After two visits, his wife came to me and asked for a "closed" session. I was scared. I didn't have insurance coverage. So, anyway, she asked me what I did to her husband. I did not have a response and a turtle head was growing in my pants. After what was probably only ten seconds which felt like thirty minutes, the lady said that they had been married for over 25 years. In that span, the guy never said he loved his wife and she had often wondered. I don't know what happened exactly, but I treated him for low back twice and he became a chiropractic patient for life. His wife made him come in after she got sick over his constant complaint. Well, after the second visit his wife came in. After 25 years of marriage, he told his wife that he loved her and even brought flowers home. She was almost crying in my office over this. To this day I don't know if I really did anything. I just performed chiropractic as I know it. I did what I would want done to me and that is it. I still don't know sometimes the power of what it means to let the nerves live in a person but I do know what this does for me.

I was coached earlier today by my friend Dr. Dawson. This guy should be published. I'm still working through everything he taught me today on the workings of upper cervical treatment. This was only a twenty minute session and encompassed two years of work which I never learned in college. Dr. Dawson is a genius. If you are a reader, everyone on earth can benefit from chiropractic care. That is fact, in my opinion. I've seen it and lived it and will never do without it. I feel pain for those who do not get chiropractic. I am now a 17+ year veteran of the sport.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

The List

http://www.fnchiropractic.com
http://www.bionicdoc.com


I have a list. It keeps growing. Sometimes this list is just out of hand. Starting a new business in what appears to be a bad economy has made my list get larger as bills come in and then you have to figure out who gets what and when. You know, you make sure the roof stays over your head and that transportation cost is maintained and then you allocate. Also, until about ten years ago, I didn't understand paying yourself first. After divorce and attorneys and a bunch of stuff with business, I figured that out. I asked my dad about it early on and he wasn't any help. I asked my CPA and he had vagaries. I figured out that a CPA on trade-out was not the best person to use for finance. So, you know, I just continue to learn. My list right now is chiropractic, domain names, ebay drop-ship, parking, and bionic band P.A.R.T. technologies and Elsie. Then there is the grocery list. None of it is necessarily in order, Elsie Jane is probably #1.

I think Brandon is the latest on the list as he's started to come around and ask me about stuff. Brandon is Elsie Jane's son and I think I may be becoming his second dad. And that's pretty scary. Very soon I think the time is coming when we will probably all be living in the same place. Brandon's real dad seems to me to be a pretty nice guy but there are two stories and now three with Brandon's perspective. I don't want to mess with the stories but add another to make all the themes become one. Eventually, I know that this will happen because I know that Brandon is a mathematical genius and that we get along very well. But I have been stand-offish. Its just my approach to be sure that a learning curve is achieved.

A little background. I really loved my ex-wife, Stacy. I was never able to express certain things, though. And when it came to a point when my self-esteem was challenged, my ex-wife wasn't there and she tried to tear me down. So I left. Elsie Jane is very much like Stacy but she challenges me and holds me up when I may be down. She looks at me with these big brown eyes that spurn me to just be a man. I also just really love Elsie Jane. There is no one like her. Its kind of funny and also tragic that I could say that I would also be able to love my ex-wife if she would stop being a real junky person and just come around. But I guess that is how she is.

So Brandon keeps asking me about certain things and I just don't know how to say it like it is because he is told one thing and the truth lies elsewhere. I'm fairly certain that his education lies with his father and that Elsie Jane has no plans involved. I'm kind of hoping that the dad dies before Brandon goes on to a PhD program, but thats just me saying that. His dad is older so to say that he may pass away is not like a giveaway or anything. Brandon's dad is just older. Brandon is asking me about workouts, but I am first taking him to a financial management seminar and then to the gym. I can easily make him stronger in the gym, but I hope I can make him stronger in the financials. That is my hope. I'd rather not see him grow up groping for a rope when he could easily make the rope on his own. I did all sorts of things with my own dad but never learned much of consequence. I'd like to learn the communication style of Brandon to maybe make a small difference in what I know is a continued life of greatness. If that can be achieved, then I would know that I have actually done something that is tangible and real. This is one great kid and I just hope that I can be more than a carpenter with him.

The life we are all living now is crazy. It seems that we all just go from place to place and sometimes it is difficult to notice any progress. When I'm not seeing progress, I just take a step back. I figure that the step back is better than taking a wrong step forward. When I'm working for my self in my own businesses, its easy to take the step back. I realize that there is real life and that real life is far better in affecting others in a real way.

Sometimes maybe my weblogs make little sense. I figure that's okay. They make you think if there is no sense involved. I can be reached at drscott@fnchiropractic.com

P.S. I enjoy hearing from you. Especially if what I exploit is zany or otherwise.

sm

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Stocks

http://www.fnchiropractic.com
http://www.fool.com

I'm a motley fool follower. The Gardeners are the advisors on the market I follow most. I appreciate IBD and all the statistics O'Neill has to offer. Motley Fool tells the real story, in my opinion. My Caps list can be found under the name drsmoller. The volatile market today can show some real losers and I have continued to not be one of them. I can't say that I have much strategy in "diversifying" and all that may entail. I just kind of see what's hot and I go with it.
I started with ideas on stocks at about age 13. I bought through my dad initially. I also got bullied by my dad and his broker, Joe. I only mention getting bullied as the last transaction I ever made as a young kid was when I was hot after an IPO called Quicksilver. I presented my position and got steamrolled in the offices of my dad's broker and agreed to a buy with some kind of company involved with fingerprinting and microfilm. Something like that. That was a mistake. My last mistake after the dad-Joe-deal was listening to others on WilliamsCo. and a sudden and total crash in '02.
Since then I've bought what I know and also I've bought what I see all around me. My latest that I've seen is Paradise Bakery, an AZ company. Its traded as Panera and the shops are totally hot. Eating out frequently, I see stuff that maybe some don't. The experience at Paradise is better than Cheesecake Factory and the cost is half. If you visit my Caps at Motley Fool, you will see that my picks are usually in the 60% range or greater. My favorite all-time are MVL and CSE. Those are not gambles for me. My gambles are in ETF's and emerging markets. With these, I just think long-term and let it roll. I don't like my MSFT, but its sort of stable and I like their ads with Bill shaking his butt next to Seinfeld.

So, a bunch of financials are getting hit and its crazy seeing the tickers go. Other than that, I've been happy with my picks and haven't gone down mainly because of buying what I like and what I see others like. I think Elsie Jane understands the investment process and I wish she would understand better when I put another thousand into my convertible because I love that ride so much.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Mike

http://www.bionicdoc.com

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&item=160280482655

http://www.fnchiropractic.com


Mike, I really appreciate your input. I'm hoping you may see this blog since I don't know when I may find you again at the gym and I didn't get your email address or information.
I wasn't sure what you thought when I had approached you and I just decided to take the chance. I have noticed you before and wondered about your story and now I know that "little bit more" aspect. I was a bit timid about coming up to you as I didn't want you to think I was some kind of flake or something and I genuinely just wanted to find out more and now I have this bionic band thing that I'm so excited about. So I gave it a chance.

In most gyms nowadays its sometimes rather difficult to get to know people. We're all running around with an Ipod stuck on our heads and hats hung low. Women think that guys are just hitting on them and so many keep to themselves. Right now I know a few people in the place and its made more fun the time spent at 24 Hour.

I told Dan about you with the band and he was very excited even though all we could prove was that small balance/strength test. Dan has tried it on one other stroke victim and she began to develop pain on her paralysis side. She refuses to wear the band now. I don't know how much pain it was, but Dan wanted to get her to continue. She had no sensation prior. His thinking was, "I wonder what if?" We all know that pain is a nervous system response and this lady has been living with absolutely no response except at this time with the band. He said, that if you like, he would be thrilled to give you a band with the technology and would like to hear about any result.

You made it very easy to get to know you and then you took the time to write. I just want to let you know that I genuinely appreciate that. Mike, you are an all-the-way, A#1 classy guy.

Thank you.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

A Few Days

I've been so busy.
I can't stop talking to people about the bionicband. Its really crazy because normally I just don't do this kind of thing and I am a clam. Its also funny since I'll go just about anywhere and, out of the blue, I'll see something and simply get attention from any person and then we're talkin' bionic. My new domain name is bionicdoc.com. Its linked to the primary website for people to purchase the product and/or sign up for the business.

Since I am at the beginnings of my office which started in July, I have a ton of marketers coming in and trying to hit me up. I really can't believe how many people there are in the Chandler area attempting to sell me their stuff. Its intimidating when I pick up any local ad product and I see how much money other chiros are spending on the publications. I've rarely had any success with this kind of ad material and I just don't buy any longer and I rely on building relationships and gaining quality referrals. I tell you what, since July I've probably sat down with about fifty to sixty ad-type salesman. No kidding. Just about every one of them involves the range of 2 to 9 thousand dollars or month and the range is usually over the period of one year or just one month. I'm thinking of starting one of those businesses and make it into something I would actually like to see sitting on my doorstep every week. All of them are pretty much the same and have never influenced me to buy anything. So I think I would make one of these ad things fun and zany and then maybe get someone to call my ad paying clients. It would probably be cheaper for me to make this kind of thing and get high school kids who want a couple twentys on the side to distribute than if I paid the other guys. Just an idea.

So the ad-copiers: I initially thought to offer them fifty bucks per legitimate patient they brought in to my office in lieu of my not buying their stuff. I still have been too chicken to make my offer after I tell them I don't buy their kind of product and they don't produce. Now that I have bionic band, I can't believe I'm doing this...but I figure I have captive audience. I have let them tell their story and then I get to tell mine. What better person to tell this than someone who is taking my time and who is also in the sales field and understands selling and what a good business is all while selling something that is good for everyone? Right? One of these guys will soon see the big picture and its a matter of time.

An update. I have been talking to a lot of people and it is truly fun. Everyone I've been branching out to I have truly enjoyed the experience and I totally look forward to meeting them again. I remember every one of your names and I really don't know why this has always been the case with my memory. Most hear a name and then its forgotten. That's okay. Just happens that I hit at about ninety percent. My most recent are Kevin, Mike, Doug, Matthew, Don, Kimberly. Very strange. I think its after reading Carnegie's books that this began to happen. Before that it was memory of numbers. That is a strange thing as well. The numbers continue. I base most things on math. Where you walk, how you drive, working out, sleep. Its all math to me. I have a count to sixty and, in general, sixty takes me approximately 43 seconds to count to. Since my interior gauge lights on the Saab do not work, my count to sixty tells me how fast I am going on the freeway according to the mile markers. Its no-fail. Every once in a while I get the flashlight out and check and, sure enough, it works out.

On a note and not to be a real pain. I continue to be surprised about reports on how others are reacting to the bionic band. I know my personal experience is, so far, such that I do not do not want to go without. Elsie Jane has been telling all her friends and I cannot believe the response she is getting. I wish they would be the same with chiropractic. But, anyway, I simply have this total energy and my personality has turned into something very outgoing. Of course, today I was hoping that the energy would attract more patients into my office, but that didn't happen. The energy did give me more ideas and I think I have so much going that I'm getting into the position of having to figure out how to delegate all the things I would really enjoy being done in a bunch of endeavors. The neatest thing behind it all is simply the part of connecting with others. Whether they get the message or not, that is okay. I just know that when I take the time to talk to any one person that I have been honest and tell it like I see it. That is most important. It is always so great to hear others tell their story. I think I enjoy that best of all.

I have a lot more to say but Elsie told me I better eat or I might die or something like that. I think she said something like "You eat, you never eat and you need healthy body so you not go goofy." She brought me breakfast this morning and I had to eat two breakfasts.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Bionic Scott

http://www.fnchiropractic.com


I'm trying out the bionic band. Its science is behind P.A.R.T. - proton alignment resonance technology. The business aspect is a new MLM and the theory of the product in practice is interesting. The primary focus in its marketing seems to regard balance, energy and strength in the body. The science is a focus on decreased EMF interference/pollution by redirecting proton energy in the body with a small imbedded metallic object. Something like that anyway. EMF is electromagnetic field. A potential current and vastly worsening problem with how we use and produce technology today is the amount of electrical radiation which is not taken into account and how our systems may react to all the input.
Whats kind of strange when this subject was brought up to me (and I am getting to test drive the bracelet) I began to recall a few people in one of my men's groups. I've never been around so many individuals who are fighting cancer or know others in the same struggle. The types of cancer appear to be mostly related to problems in the brain region and this bionic band got me to thinking. You see, we are living in a time when we are being bombarded with all this EMF and we don't give it a thought. Every one of us is running around with un-expressed cancer genes and the cells are just one mutation away from expressing themselves in the cancer form. Everybody has it, its just not expressed.
My next thought was about breast cancer. I don't think its coincidence that there has been a huge surge in breast cancer ever since the traditional mammogram practices have been implemented. I mean, think about it. To detect possible breast cancer we take a woman, smash her breasts against a film and radiate them in order to see if there are any abnormalities. We actually take potentially damaging radiation to our bodies and take multiple films of tissue. Since mammograms have become routine yearly checks, there has been rise of cancer cases. Of course one may argue that this is due to our early detection systems, but I don't buy it. I'm not against x-ray, but I also don't generally take soft tissue specific films and the units I use equate to someone watching TV for only about twenty seconds.
So then I get back to the people I've run into who are suffering from brain related conditions and my first thought is on how much cell phone usage there is today. I think I've probably gone through at least 15 phones since first getting a cell in 1999. When you think about the population as a whole and cells, the amount of EMF exposure is exponential not to mention a hugely expanding reliance on the computer and all that. EMF, EMF, EMF. In my thinking, its a matter of time before certain cellular matter expresses itself in some way in order to adapt to the pollution.
Some of us will be like George Burns and live forever with little side effects from all the drinking and cigars. And then there will be the others who do not adapt. Might that possibly be the big guy I sit next to in group and he currently suffers from something diagnosed in his temporal lobe and is still in the throes of chemo? Or the other guy I've run across who had to have open brain surgery? I don't know. I'd say the effects of EMF will most likely be expressed soon as everything is a matter of time. Maybe the death statistics will be changing.

I decided to give the bionic proton band a go. Experimented yesterday during my workout. Here's what I did. I already did chest and biceps and calves on Tuesday and that was a fair workout and yesterday (Wednesday) I was totally sore. So I figured I would test the band by a re-do of the same workout. Man, I felt stupid getting under the bar on the bench since my chest was already on fire and I really didn't want to do this to myself. It didn't help that I also was on limited sleep and hadn't eaten much of anything either. First was warm-up and, it was funny, the 135 was so light that I almost thought the plates were off. I went on up to the 3's and didn't feel like finding a spot so I quit. Then I just went straight to four plates on a supine unilateral bench and put that one out. 3 wheels on the incline and then the stack on a machine. I wasn't able to do this the other day - I flagged and sand-bagged in comparison. Everything felt so light, it was strange. And I had energy too. I even didn't want to quit on chest, but have a policy on how much stress you put on a system at a given moment. Next was biceps and calves and going through a few movements and there was the same result. I don't know. I was surprised and am thinking that tonight I may do another re-do without the band and see what a third time around is like. And maybe alternating with and without and see how much memory of the P.A.R.T. my body has.
Another thing. Usually my left shoulder hurts when I push it and my right forearm and left upper trapezius act up. Neither happened. The only problem I had was with doing the rack on cable curls, my left bicipital tendon felt kind of "ropey". But overall, no pain.

I have also been trying to tear apart the physical/neurological tests that are done to display the properties of the bionic band and haven't found a loophole. The type of testing done on the subject is considered sound in the medical field. So thats not part of a potential slick oil sale.
Another aspect is that I stay routinely adjusted by chiropractic every week. I was adjusted the day before being introduced to the bionic band. Often I can get similar balance with my patients and adjustment, but never with the same type of tests which are done to demonstrate with the product. Like the phone to your ear one to demonstrate the EMF. I'd like to see an applied kinesiology practitioner do this. There are certain ways to get neurological responses, but the tests used don't have any "tricks" to fool the nervous system - just a band with imbedded metal technology.

Anyway, I've been impressed enough so far and my impression was such that I made sure I bought a domain name in case I went into business with it. I haven't been impressed enough to go through buying every domain I could think of related to the new find (yet).

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

My Friend Will

http://www.fnchiropractic.com

Today has been so busy. Its very strange that, even when you don't think you are busy, it isn't so. My new practice growth appears to be in the beginnings of creating possible great relationships. Had a busy morning and then I don't know where the afternoon went....and its my off day excepting for marketing and meeting.

This morning I almost made it on time to Toastmasters. If time exists, that is. Whether time exists or does not exist is still in question according to my quantum thinking. I would say that time is like money. They are both different species of imagination. But, anyway, the people I decide to gather with have an agenda early in the morning when coffee is my favorite item on the menu. The "time" doesn't matter. I was five minutes late according to a clock driven by atomic generation. I probably need to get going five minutes sooner next week.

On the way to Toastmasters, I listened to talk radio commentary sort of. What I really did was get over anxiety of possibly having to be called on to speak in front of these people and my internal dialogue went through about five scenarios and I got over my junk. My scenarios went through some things probably not appropriate for christian public speaking and all the way to varying clinical experiences. None of it mattered just like in most of our internal dialogues and the meeting had a theme on movies anyway. I still haven't read the direction booklet on Toastmasters and I hope to get that done so I know what to do in that service since I don't have a clue about all the clapping and stuff. Maybe in the earlier five minute wake-up next week I will read those books and directions. Or hire a coach. Today I did get to at least say the Pledge of Allegiance which I haven't said since the sixth grade. It was like riding a bike.

One of my scenarios I went over while making the journey was one I kind of stuck to and thought a little more about. It was this time about two years into my practice and I was presented with this six week old kid, Jakey. The mom, Nikki, was struggling because J was not eating, always grimacing and just kind of curled up. I guess this was going on for a while and the MD visits and stuff all pointed to the kid being healthy and everything. I don't know, but if the mom is concerned and loses sleep over her kid who has little to no reaction to life, I call that a problem. So I adjusted a couple things on the six weeker, J, and that was it. I thought that was it, anyway. I think it was a Wednesday. About 10:38pm I received a call from Nikki and she was all emotional and stuff and said that Jakey was eating and smiling and acting like a normal kid and she was so excited. My response: I really didn't have any that I know of. It was an expected outcome and I know that I know that I know. It was as I expected and that was it. When I think about it, I "feel" like I should have been jumping up and down and shaking people's hands, waking up the neighbors to tell them the good news and then schedule the ticker tape parade down Tulsa's main street. I didn't and that's just how I am I guess. Takes a little bit to get my motor running. I'm not even sure what that little bit is. But I tell you what, when I think about being a part of getting a six week old kid's power running, it makes tears well up. A good feeling.

So I had a meeting after a meeting after a meeting and this was with my good friend, Will. Will and I had a sort of agenda. I'm interested in seeing his new business doings and also interested in making sure that he and his own are doing okay. I know he's interested in getting my business and also I'm fairly certain that he does have genuine interest in the heart of my matters since he tells me what he sees and doesn't hold back on laying down the faith.
We met at a Starbucks and one thing we discussed was this little thing about Jakey and my reaction, or lack of, and he pointed out that God made me as I am. I'd have to say this is true. How the Jakey story was opened was because, while we were talking, Will stopped conversation and stated that he couldn't "read" whether I was interested in what he was saying due to my lack of expression. I knew exactly what he was commenting on and brought up this little story of my little patient. Will's comment about my demeanor being a God make-up was pretty cool. It takes an understanding person who is patient and kind to comprehend that kind of thing and put it together the way that he did. I genuinely appreciated that.
As a teenager I was thought of as "stuck-up" because of my posturing. It was nothing but, but considered so. It was only those who sought further who actually ever discovered the truth. Those who have sought have discovered a lifetime friend. Can't get much better than a lifer.

I'm not totally sure, but I think my responsiveness is more and more and continually in progress of learning. Something that kind of seems to put a temperature on my responsiveness to certain stimuli seems to be something in me that says Solomon was right in Ecclesiastes that nothing is new under the sun. Also there seems to be an element I gathered from my friends, the Soderman's, when they had a motto of revenge to "expect it when you least expect it". So response and active excitement seems to be cultured by many influences and mine tends to be blank in waiting and attentiveness for what I know is yet to come. Sounds a bit strange and not even yet superfluous, in my opinion. It is what it is.
About ten years ago my mom coached me in small talk at a Red Robin in Bear Valley. I still don't quite understand that one. Someone trying to coach someone in being a total fake talking to others about nothing that matters and assuring someone else that what you're saying affects the universe and I really will meet with you again at the end of the rainbow. Doesn't make sense as I know sense. One thing in my corner on all of this stuff is knowing how Frankl had stated that we are all a work in progress and, as we all learn, sometimes things may change how we view different circumstance.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

School and Finance

First time writing to my blog audience. I am a little nervous and...just kidding. Check out my website at http://www.fnchiropractic.com

I will let you know that I will post probably lengthy items on this site and, since this is a new addition, this blog will undergo many changes until I see something that suits my taste(s). Colors, gadgets, pictures, layout, you-name-its. There will be changes. The daily journal of today, yesterday and the future will remain the same. I say daily, but I really will not write daily unless I lose use of my legs and somehow get chained to a computer and someone holds a gun to my head and I am forced to write endlessly.

This morning at 6am I joined my new men's group and we discussed prayer and the beginning of the book of James to about verse 18 or 19. What was pretty good was the fact that we actually discussed much of the application of the book to our daily lives. I go to this other group and its okay to have the interaction of other brothers, but there are so many of us that things seem to be a bit off track. Also in the second group, we'll go over a book (last was John 12) and then the discussion will mostly be back to prayer request items or something not even related to what was read. For me as a bookworm and textbook idiot and one who has trouble with small-talk, this is aggravating. So, anyway, this morning was timely, educating, and a somewhat enjoyable sociable time. Once I got over the part of waking up so early that my eyes hurt anyway.
Right now, you know how God says that you have dominion over your circumstance and the animals and all that stuff? Well, I'm kind of scared when I sit at my desk lately because of an encounter I had with a scorpion. It was my first scorpion after being in AZ almost three years. The thing was large. LARGE. I didn't know it, but after some research, I found that anything over two inches is considered somewhat of a size around here. I also found the type was the hurtful kind of stinging type. So now, I keep looking down around my shoes about every three and a half minutes or so. I used to even take my shoes off in the office. Ummm, what's that smell? I have dominion over creation and can't get over a big-little scorpion.

Today I've been sitting here with little to no patients and doing all sorts of things. While playing my Nintendo DS I was thinking about my education and the cost and what it took to go through nearly ten years of school. It sometimes gets to me that it cost over $120k to get to be a chiropractor. Its crazy and its been a subject in my head quite a bit lately for some reason. Its the past and the past is passed, you know?
So, anyway. Today I remembered some of the beginnings of my education. After high school where I graduated I think at like #15 or something out of somewhere in the area of 400 people, I had to figure out going to school or not going. I decided to forego the immediate enrollment and give it a wait and pretty much felt that would be good. Wanted to just kick back and watch some waves roll in and play it easy until I had solid footing on a destination in scholastic stuff. Or maybe I just wanted to be lazy. I don't really know.
I received notice of acceptance in the University of Colorado system and they already had loans and all that stuff lined up and everything. When I got the notices, I told my parents that I wasn't going and would hold off. It was a kind of stand-off in the front living room area between me and my parents. It was kind of like, "No I'm not. Yes you are. No I'm not, yes you are". Probably should have tried it long enough so they could forget what the subject was and I could go and eat dinner peacefully. But that didn't happen. Here's what happened.
The front living room had a layout consisting of an upright piano, leafed waist-high end table, a kind of loveseat thing, hutch, sofa and matching antique Chippendale coffee table (mom's favorite). There may have been a couple other items, I know there were spider plants and fern and stuff. The house was a two level with a split and basement and three car garage so that front room was a fair size and the place was nice for entertaining or for two families to live in. Well the go-to-school argument was getting heated. No one would back down. My dad decided to end it by physically attacking me not realizing the fact that I had already been lifting for over five years and was probably the strongest bodybuilder in the immediate area of Moller Central. I don't remember exactly, but I think this has only happened twice between us and this was one of the two times. I basically picked him up and threw him flat on his back --- right onto my mom's favorite piece of Chippendale coffee table on the planet. You know the guy living in a van down by the river (SNL Chris Farley)? That table and my dad should have been aired over the tube. It was crazy. The legs on the thing went four out flat, a plant went careening and I took off for my basement abode. I laugh now, but I left quickly since I was more afraid of my mom than I had ever been of my dad.
I guess they won the battle. I don't really know. They fought as if I were about to give up a full-ride scholarship and new shoes. But I started in the CU system that semester. Here's the funny thing about it all. We had a disagreement about my schooling but it was never discussed about how to pay for it. The most finance ever discussed was in having this Woodmen of the World rep. come over to set me up on an education fund (smart thinking - I was already 18) and my mom taking me aside and saying this: "I don't care what you do and I don't care what it costs, you get your education." That was it. Good financial reasoning. So they didn't care the cost, but then how was that going to be picked up? You think they paid for it? Are you kidding?

For some reason I had this thing embedded into me that I had to get the education and don't worry about the money. My family, I'd say was and still is basically poor were it not for my grandma. My dad pissed away a nice living and many potential investments and they are now aging and moved in with my grandma, "to better take care of her". The parents did pick up a couple very small doodads during my education but never grasped the larger picture. Both of them had educations paid for -- by their parents.
I'm not lamenting going all the way through the system to get my degree. Chiropractic has done so many things for me that can never be matched by any other profession on earth. I've been able to see so many lives touched in so many ways that it brings me to tearing up when I think about all the great things. I do wish that I had thought about the finance.
School costs a lot. It costs even more when you don't see the cash changing hands and you're running scared with the thoughts of your mom coming after you if you don't get that diploma at any cost.

Then the getting out part. I was lost. I had nowhere to go, no finance to rely on and no established doctor friend and no rich relatives in the field or any of that to get me ahead. Had to start with nothing, couldn't get a loan because of so much debt and other chiros out there wanted to pay not even enough for me to pay basic bills if I were employed. I beat the trees down trying to find anything and, hopefully not work a second job, and found nothing. I was very fortunate to find a couple gems out there who helped me greatly. In retrospect I should have moved to a state which had already established great pay in chiropractic. My ex-wife wanted to move to Tulsa so that is where I eventually stayed and started up on credit and my bare knuckles. It was pretty tough. I know -- sob,sob.

Here's the thing. Financially, I would be far better off now if I had become a career bartender or salesman or janitor of HVAC guy or you name it. Thats because, when I get on my feet, I can be pretty smart on the move-up. I figure things out and have had many business ventures which have all been generally successful. Shoulda, coulda, woulda. When I think on these things I remember not to shoulda myself.

If you have kids, please plan early and make healthy and wise investments. Sometimes we lose everything and there is no choice. Just don't lose everything because of being blind to dumb junk. In most circumstances, there is a choice to go greater and stay from the lesser. If your an adult, think about who is paying and, if you are paying, what is the true finance behind when you get out. I had a choice and was following the man and orders when I was actually the one in charge of posting the orders. Was too stupid to realize that. I didn't go to be a doctor thinking about how wealthy it would make me, but rather how much the profession had actually done for me physically and that I would like to be one to share the message. On the other side, it really does cost a lot and, if you don't have it, you cannot fake it before you make it. You break it before you make it. In our society today, a professional must be and do and live in certain circumstance to be recognized and attract clients and just to make a living. There is something expected and that costs a lot. I'm not talking about "keeping up with the Joneses". I'm talking about the associated costs of something as simple as your continued education and licenses and fees and tons of other stuff that people do not even realize until your chest deep. Shoot, I'm lucky that I'm now in Arizona and status quo seems to be only dress pants and a polo. Think I may head to Hawaii and see if shorts and sandals are acceptable.
Also you need to consider the types of pressure that your own business and mental coupled with physical stress does to you in a day to day grind. I'm sorry, but when you take a break, a short trip to get a Dairy Queen sundae is not rewarding enough to justify what you are going through. Your buddies are all heading for a resort and an extended weekend. When you get back you are somewhat refreshed. Then you're looking for the next mountain to climb.